A need to be Gang-banged

I've tried to think about how I have always felt prior to being gang-bang, during it and then afterwards and then in my mind what what a common feeling each time I'd get gang-bang or party fucked. 

My number one reason wanting fucked in this fashion was so I would be; 

                            "completely and fully be psychologically emasculated"

Emasculation may be used metaphorically to refer to the loss of a man's masculinity. A man is said to be emasculated when he loses, or is deprived of, a characteristic traditionally associated with being a man.

A party fucking, was my preferred way to have sex with alot of STR8 men in one evening/event, this was when I went to a private party at somebodies' home/apartment the party was general just that, yet I knew many of the guys and many already routinely were having me giving them blow-jobs or were fucking me. 

I simply be at the party as anyone else, yet everybody knew that if they wanted to fuck me that could, thus if a guy wanted to fuck me, he came up and told me he wanted to,

then he and I would go to a private room, I'd get a condom on him and he'd fuck me.

I get the condom off him, a majority of the time the guys didn't ejaculate, I'd wash his penis good, then he and I'd go back out to the party.

Edging, peaking, or surfing[1] is a sexual technique whereby orgasm is controlled. It is practiced alone or with a partner and involves the maintenance of a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period without reaching climax.

Often guys would have a girlfriend, and she'd watched as I was being fucked by her boyfriend, guys with a girlfriend usually never ejaculated, they were "Edging" thus practicing control of their orgasm, so later they could have sex with their girlfriend.

The guys always man-handled me as a submissive feminine male, it was important that I nurture their manhood/masculinity by being as feminine as possible for them, as well as tell them how much I loved having a " Real Man's" hard cock inside me and fucking every bit of man out of me, this was especially important if a female was watching her boyfriend fucking me.

For the sake of their Masculinity, especially if their girlfriend or wife was watching.

It was important the guys give me a good hard forcefully fucking, make me whimper, yet begging crying out for more, tell them that I wish that I was a female etc.

to be continued.