All about HSTS
I believe since my earliest memories, I simply felt that I should be female
Then at puberty I found that I wanted to be in the female role sexually
" Believe me, I've spent a life time wondering why "
" Not that I remember ever feeling bad about feeling like and wanting to be like a female , yet because of society not accepting transsexual types, it made it impossible to reveal my true sexual orientation and psychological gender."
By chance I had a jack donkey friend who lived at a small boarding stable very near my home, I visit him often since I was 10 years old, yet now age 13, seeing him with a erection, I found I was very sexual attracted to him (Edward).
Simply by chance, when I attempted to stroke Edward's penis,
he allowed it, thus I was soon routinely performing oral sex on him
and taking his semen orally, this would continue routinely through summer break 1975.
After school started in August, I by chance was seduced by a sexy black student, he so had me sucking his penis nearly daily,
then he introduced me to a older black male friend of his, thus I started sucking his penis, this lead soon to be introduced to; " taking a penis up inside my bottom ".
Now knowing how good it felt for me psychologically to have a penis up inside me, I now wanted Edward to start doing the same thing to me.
Again by chance, Edward and I were able to successfully get his entire penis up inside me, by chance I could accommodate his length, powerful thrusts and swollen flared penis head.
Once Edward and I started;
" mating like male-female partners "
" Quite simply I never desired to be with anyone else sexually "
Thus for 21 years I was Edward's female roled sexual partner
A secret life, simply due to the fact that society can't accept transsexual type people, even though a small minority, none the less a element of humanity, and most likely since the beginning of humanity.
Not until 1998 would I become exclusively and routinely
female sexually roled for human males and in a prostitutional type role for them, though I didn't get paid money, I was getting
affirmation of my female role, as well as getting feminized and emasculated by them.
For me it was always psychologically comfirmation of my sexual identity, not physical, as seldom would myself have a orgasm, never would I have a erection, for me to have a erection
in the presence of a male lover was a no,no as I wanted to be as feminine as possible for him as I wanted him to treat like a real female, and perform for him like a female.
So by 2000 I routinely performing for about 100 men routinely.
" I soon realized I needed to be in a monogamous relationship again like I had with Edward "
excerpt from above site that fits me ;
"Essentially, that means that transgender homosexual males not only desire men, they desire to play the role of women, to men. In other words, they are receptive in sex. In addition, they tend to desire to be protected by their partners and to be submissive socially as well as sexually. They are looking, in a partner, for a strong, conventionally masculine personality, to whom they will submit in bed and defer in society.
For example (after 1998) if I was talking to a man,and we are both interested in a sexual relationship, I have always explained that I am 100% female roled,
in essense psycho-sexually female, I desire to be treated sexually as though
I am truly a "female", I have always felt psychologically like I am female, not male, and only desire to be like a female.
I've never been in the male role with
another man, nore desire in any way to be, I never want a man to perform fellatio on me, only desire he allows me to perform fellatio on him and penetrate
I also explain to him that I have a high sex drive, very eager to sexually pleasure him as often as he desires, or is
Another excerpt from Rod Fleming's writings ;
"Once you were through puberty, this just got stronger. Performing as a boy in society was next to impossible for you, a torture. Your sexual desire — always powerful in adolescent boys — was now fixed on the idea of being penetrated, being the submissive partner. You might have thought you were a ‘gay boy’ and may have experimented sexually with ‘frotting’, fingering and even being penetrated, with other boys, perhaps transgender homosexuals like yourself or maybe straight boys who just wanted to have sex. But these encounters did not slake your thirst, even if you enjoyed them. You wanted a man, not a boy and especially not a ‘gay boy’ whom you recognised as being as much a girl as you were.
For example by age 13 (7th grade) I was routinely performing fellatio on and being anally penetrated by a older male and taking climax up inside me.
I was very attracted to him as he " took charge " very much treated me like a girl" he had a very large penis (10"), yet was very gentle,kind, he in essense "totally emasculated" me, after being with him, I knew I only wanted to be like a female-me
Yet, that was 1975, being "transgender" was not a good way to be , my friend and I were "discovered", and the "shaming" by
fellow students began , was more than I could handle, so I only could be with my lover Edward my donkey partner.
I tried relationship with a female,then another, just wasn't right, I could not be a "Man" for a female.
I think for myself is when the so called
"Gender Dysphoria" really was clear, that I
could only be with a Man, and 100% in the
Yet, not until after I'd been modeling nude for art classes, and a young black male asks me to sexually perform for him in the "female role", I was very ready and eager to be in female role for him, and soon was every possible chance.
Excerpts from Rod Fleminings site that fit me ; All about HSTS ;
"transgender homosexual males not only desire men, they desire to play the role of women, to men. In other words, they are receptive in sex. In addition, they tend to desire to be protected by their partners and to be submissive socially as well as sexually. They are looking, in a partner, for a strong, conventionally masculine personality, to whom they will submit in bed and defer in society. In females, the opposite holds true".
"Once you were through puberty, this just got stronger. Performing as a boy in society was next to impossible for you, a torture. Your sexual desire — always powerful in adolescent boys — was now fixed on the idea of being penetrated, being the submissive partner. You might have thought you were a ‘gay boy’ and may have experimented sexually with ‘frotting’, fingering and even being penetrated, with other boys, perhaps transgender homosexuals like yourself or maybe straight boys who just wanted to have sex. But these encounters did not slake your thirst, even if you enjoyed them. You wanted a man, not a boy and especially not a ‘gay boy’ whom you recognised as being as much a girl as you were."
(even at 13, I was wanting very much older men, big cocks they had)- me
"The ‘gay scene’ held no attraction for you, you thought it an ugly, sex-obsessed meat market. You dreamed of a nice man who treated you well, a nice house and maybe even, if he already had kids, of being their stepmother."
" In Blanchard, HSTS are never bisexual; one is either homosexual or nonhomosexual."
"Homosexual transsexualism, or HSTS, has a recorded history as long as writing itself, from 6,000 years ago and before. It is the natural end point of the developmental scale of human homosexuality. Today, we recognise that homosexuality is an innate sexuality, that is, it’s not learned or ‘socialised’.
Because it is innate, we should expect to find homosexuality across all human cultures at all times and this we do. It is mentioned – often negatively, in many ancient texts like the Bible, the Hindu texts, the Koran and so on. There are numerous reports of it throughout history. Sometimes, as in Europe or where the writers were European, this has been negative. Elsewhere, records are more balanced in tone.
The close link between HSTS and homosexuality, together with the copious records, suggest that it too is a fundamental and intrinsic aspect of human nature. Despite often extreme social intolerance, then, HSTS has lived on throughout the ages of human culture. Its appearance in the West in recent decades should be seen not as a new phenomenon but as the reappearance of a natural part of the human condition that had been suppressed, for centuries, by brutal, often lethal violence, frequently promoted by religion."
As an aside, if you are used to having anal sex with a woman, you are in for a surprise. It is the author’s experience, and that of other men whom he has interviewed, that an HSTS’ anus can be much tighter than a woman’s. Indeed, a famous Roman, (name) on being challenged by his wife for mounting his boy slaves when she had an anus too, is reputed to have said, ‘No, my dear; you have two vaginas.’ The Romans evidently knew a thing o two about this.
(I know, my men loved the tightness of my bottom))
Pre-op HSTS can be divided into two groups: those who like to have their penises sucked and played with and those who do not(me). Men should find out what their partner’ preference is before touching it. If she doesn’t like it, stay away from it.
Remember: HSTS want straight, not homosexual men and your lover may be testing you. It is not at all uncommon for a girl to ditch a lover for having displayed too much interest in her penis. Ask yourself why you want to play with what is, after all, another male organ. If you’re only interested in that, then perhaps you would be better having sex with another man and accepting your homosexuality. If you’re only doing it because she wants you to, then that’s a different case. But it is relatively rare to find an HSTS who wants to be fellated — or at least, who will admit it. (no way do I want a man who is interested in performing fellatio on me) - me
Anal-only orgasm, Yes, it is absolutely possible for an HSTS to climax using only anal stimulation. This is normal. The popular myth that ‘an anus is not a sex organ so orgasms are impossible’ displays complete ignorance. In fact, the prostate gland, which sits at the base of the penis and is responsible for producing about 90% of ejaculate, is extremely sensitive to massage and stimulating it in the right way will provoke massive orgasms in the individual. (and in my case,non-erect)-me
Your HSTS girlfriend wants to fuck you. NO. This is extremely rare. If you seek to be penetrated, then stay away from HSTS. You can still have a trans girlfriend, but not an HSTS one. Any transwoman who would do this will either be a gay crossdresser or an autogynephilic transvestite. In either case, understand that your desire to be penetrated means you are not straight. You might be bisexual or you might yourself be autogynephilic. But you are not a straight man. HSTS are only interested in relationships with straight men and it would be better if you respected that ".-Rod Fleming
I pretty much agree with Rod Fleming above, and also once fully truely "emasculated" psychologically into
Female role, like myself, one can never be male roled again.
♥ ♥ ♥ I love being female-roled
( I never have penetrated a man, nore can I, my penis is unable to get erect , I am psychologically, fully emasculated) - me
I simply can not identify as a male sexually , perform as a male sexually
On the Science of Changing Sex - wordpress.com ♥ ♥ ♥
I reviewed Kay 's site above and found it very imformative, Kay is HSTS type transsexual, which is best for myself, as I have always considered myself a " Wanta be transsexual ", Kay is also only few years older then myself.
If interested in HSTS (homosexual transsexual) the type I most identify as. Kay Brown's site is very specific about Kay identifying as HSTS, other then Rod Fleming's "All about HSTS " site / his videos, Kay's site is only site that really is centered / aimed at HSTS.
Kay has section focused on " Passing ", which interests myself alot, as due to my age,health.the cost, etc. to " Pass " for myself is point-less, thus why I pose as I do, and only desire GRS surgery to affirm my emasculation.
.I can relate to Blaire White's experince , in that, I knew I only wanted to be a Straight male's girly-boyfriend at puberty, be completely in the female sexual role.
I do know I love the " Emasculating Effect " only a straight man can give me by treating me female like. ♥ ♥ ♥
I think by listening to Blaire White, one can see they grasp the reality that there is a spectrum of degrees of " Sexual inversion ", from very feminine to tomboyish etc.
Androphilia refers to sexual attraction and arousal to adult males, whereas gynephilia refers to sexual attraction and arousal to adult females.
Myself, I relate best to the Fa'afafine,berdache,Muxe type gender identity, being very feminine,100% female sexually roled, and attracted to masculine straight men. Thus I am very,very Androphilic
Yet for myself , being a male donkey's female roled sexual partner for 21 years, his " maleness " was what I was attracted to, thus I have say I am attracted to " Maleness " and " One whom desires me to be female roled for them"
As the third-gender peoples, I see my gender identity as not male,not female yet mix of both, yet very much feminine in sexual role, and desire to be female roled for a straight male.
My role is to " Perform sexually for a male as a female, sure I wish to look feminine and alluring for him , so he wants me sexually, yet to dress.pass as a female is not my objective, my only objective is to be a subsitute for a female, and perform only in that role
The Paradox of the Term/phrase
" Homosexual transsexual" (hsts)
For example, due to fact that I feel female like sexually or identify with a female sexual role only, and my mate choice is only male whom can exclusively treat me sexually like I am 100% female roled. Thus technically I don't identify as homosexual when I have sex with men, as psycho-sexually I am female-roled.
For me to have sex with a Female is much more like being " homosexual"
A the reason I have always felt having a Penis does not " fit me "
to fit my sexual identity , I very much should have a vagina.
The " Transgender Brain " theory
I don't know why I have always felt like I should be a female, I even remember when very young (elementry school age), thinking it was due to fact that my birth sign was " Gemini " thus making me like a hermaphrodite psychologically, thus why I wanted male to sexual treat me like a female, have me as their "girly-boyfriend"
Yet I can't say that I ever wanted to " Pass " as a female physically ,yet have always wished to " Not " have a penis, and thus have a vagina like a female does thus males could have sex with me in that way instead of having to use my bottom, yet as long as I can keep my bottom clean, I love being penetrated anally, thus if I had the "GRS " surgery it would be a zero-depth vagina type.
I have always wish to look feminine to extent that men could see that I am sexually female-roled, like having breasts,wear skirts and dress in feminine way.
I , by far would prefer to only be with a male donkey like Edward, yet I am attracted to certain men.
I simply love cock in me, not on me and love having a man make me feel like a girl by getting his cock in me..... ♥ ♥ ♥
I can believe the following research might be true, as I've always felt that I was and am very much more female like then male like, and at least since puberty have sexually only desired to be in the female role (perform fellatio on men and have men fuck me) and since then desired to not have a penis,instead have wished to look female like with a vagina.
Imaging studies and other research suggest that there is a biological basis for transgender identity
Is There Something Unique about the Transgender Brain? - scientificamerican.com
excerpt from above article ;
“Trans people have brains that are different from males and females, a unique kind of brain,” Guillamon says. “It is simplistic to say that a female-to-male transgender person is a female trapped in a male body. It's not because they have a male brain but a transsexual brain.” Of course, behavior and experience shape brain anatomy, so it is impossible to say if these subtle differences are inborn
The present review focuses on the brain structure of male-to-female (MtF) and female-to-male (FtM) homosexual transsexuals before and after cross-sex hormone treatment as shown by in vivo neuroimaging techniques. Cortical thickness and diffusion tensor imaging studies suggest that the brain of MtFs presents complex mixtures of masculine, feminine, and demasculinized regions, while FtMs show feminine, masculine, and defeminized regions. Consequently, the specific brain phenotypes proposed for MtFs and FtMs differ from those of both heterosexual males and females. These phenotypes have theoretical implications for brain intersexuality, asymmetry, and body perception in transsexuals as well as for Blanchard's hypothesis on sexual orientation in homosexual MtFs. Falling within the aegis of the neurohormonal theory of sex differences, we hypothesize that cortical differences between homosexual MtFs and FtMs and male and female controls are due to differently timed cortical thinning in different regions for each group. Cross-sex hormone studies have reported marked effects of the treatment on MtF and FtM brains. Their results are used to discuss the early postmortem histological studies of the MtF brain.
I use to pray often before going to bed at night ,that I'd awake in the morning and have a vagina instead of still having a penis.
Just a " Old Fem-male " now