Being psychologically Emasculated

                 my main erotic desire               

    (my sexual identity is surrogate female, thus I want to feel female like)

After so much recalling of memories of my sexual history, especially since age 13 when

I first started performing fellatio on Edward my jack donkey, following by being a submissive bottom for my boyfriends the fall of that year. (main theme " need to be emasculated ")

Then the troilism/exhibitionistic behavior during a brief attempt to be with a female as a normal heterosexual male which failed and was traumatic (main theme " need to be emasculated ")

The having females watch as I was fucked by their Man (main theme " need to be emasculated ")

The having females strap-on dildo fuck me as I sucked their Man's cock (main theme " need to be emasculated ")

                         I seldom cared if I had an orgasm/ejaculated

                   as long as I was psychologically emasculated

I've always be very aware of the "sexual refractory period" following a orgasm over the years and noticed if it included a high loss of sexual interest or nearly no loss of sexual


Did I feel guilt or shame during the refractory period? or did I feel good about my sexual encounter?

For example; when I had sex with Edward my jack donkey or Max my great dane I had a very short refractory period and would often be performing fellatio on Edward within a half hour of him breeding me and causing me to ejaculate.

I always felt content, wonderful and highly emasculated after having sex with Edward and Max. I had nearly no loss of interest in sex, and I often would be performing fellatio on Edward or Max within 10-15 minutes after they'd bred me and I ejaculated.

I may not ejaculated again for several hours, yet if they were interest in breeding me again within the next half-hour of the prior breeding, I was fully receptive to being bred nearly continually through a day.


During the episodes of my exhibitionistic behavior I would be highly emasculated due the shame and guilt, I would feel sadness, shame and guilt during the refractory period

yet the loss of interest in the desire to expose myself again my only last a 4-5 hours after having orgasm during the act of exposing, thus I may expose myself several times a day.

Maybe two of the most erotic and fulfilling scenarios I ever had was when a female was watching me being emasculated as I was being fucked and/or performing fellatio on her husband or boyfriend.

Being strap-on pegged by women, while I sucked their Man's penis.

And while a female friend would watch as I sucked Oscar, her stallion horse's penis then ingest his semen as he ejaculated into my mouth.

A female filmed this as I sucked, then was fucked by her boyfriend,

which in turn made me feel wonderfully emasculated/femininized.

I would always invited my Men to have their girl-friends or wives to watch as I performed for them.


I also had a strap-on dildo that the females could wear and then strap on fuck me if they'd like to.

I adore being strap-on fucked by women, it is highly emasculating.


Spontaneous ejaculation associated with anxiety: psychophysiological considerations

Nothing has ever Emasculated/feminized me more then being bred by my jack donkey Edward and Max my great dane, and taking their living sperm deep up inside my body.

    " I could truly feel like a "surrogate female" in which they could breed ". 

to be continued......