Contrasting Difference of Roles

" At least for myself , at some point I had to accept the fact that I could only be " Female Roled "

                             Difference between me and Gay males is; 

                        Gay males partner with Gay males

                                                verse

            for me to partner with a Gay male is like expecting a

             straight/heterosexual female to marry a Gay male

One thing I can say, I have experince what it is like to have experinced having first been in the Female sexual role first "fully sexually inverted" to attempting to be in Male sexual role with females,  being in male role with females caused such stress  and  inter-conflict in my mind, thus became impossible to even want to try, Toxic. How can one be a man if they feel  " as a girl ".

My first true sexual experience during  and after puberty was performing fellatio and taking his semen orally on my my male donkey partner Edward at age 13.

I am psychologically female-roled sexually, I  lost my virginity with two males, whom were having me perform fellatio on themselve's, and then                                penetrating me anally and ejaculating up inside of me.

             Once I had been penetrated, and taken the two male's semen,

                                                          then

           several month later I was able to have Edward my donkey partner

                penetrate me anally, and be impregnated with his semen.

                   I have considered myself 100% female-roled sexually,

               not again until 1998 would I be with another human male.

         This is very much my sexual role, and has remained same since

 

             I just knew by intuition the only role for me was being;

                                               like a girl for males


               

Sexual Inversion ; 

                                        " Sexual inversion was a nineteenth-century theory of homosexuality best described by the pioneering sexologist Karl Heinrich Ulrichs (1825–1895) as anima muliebris virili corpore incluse, or, a woman's soul confined within a man's body. In the nineteenth century, sexual inversion, homosexuality, and antipathic sexuality were interchangeable terms. The "inversion" in sexual inversion referred to the inverted, or upside-down, quality of a body that did not reflect the "true" essence of its possessor. The truth of the invert was inside rather than on the surface; thus a male invert was "really" a woman, and should be allowed to express a female gender, and a female invert was "really" a man, and should be allowed to dress and live as one. Inversion also referred to the ways in which such bodies inverted the laws of nature, which supposedly decreed that male bodies should desire female sexual partners instead of male ones, and vice versa. The theory of sexual inversion maintained conventional categories of sexuality and gender and did not allow one to be divided from the other. Inversion meant that a man's homosexual desires, effeminacy, or both did not challenge masculine gender or heterosexual sexual norms; rather, a perfectly normal heterosexual woman with a feminine gender was trapped inside him, yearning to come out. "

I truly feel that psychologically, I am a heterosexual female with female desires, to extremes of truly desiring to have a man make me pregnant, have always desired to breast-feed, very much love to dress sexy for a man and clearly love to pleasure a man sexually,and love have him tell me that I am female at heart or that I should be truly female.

I've told many men, " I wish you could get me pregnant "

 "Just taking the semen of a man's up inside me, is so good for me emotionally, a sense of complete emotional joy and fulfilment,,so difficult to explain, simply just Right.

I've tried to feel like a male, just ain't right

Although I and many other sexual inverted female roled male transgender people understand it would be fine technically, yet not advised, not fair to the girls,unless they already knew me well and approved it -  because we are not sexually attracted to them. However when the Bathroom bill set forth by President Obama was made a law that Transgender Male to Female people could use female's bath rooms, I knew he must not understand much about;                                 Autogynephilia,  Dr. Blanchard coined term “autogynephilia” in 1989 to describe the;

                                         - non-homosexual - transsexuals

 

  I believe simply uni-sex ,individual bathrooms was the one and only solution

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Even though I wouldn't be sexual attracted to these females, due to fact that I am attracted to adult males over 18 at least , I am female roled sexually receptive ,same as a heterosexual female is, yet with the libido as a male.

And I have identified as a female-roled sexually receptive male since puberty, and psychologically a ;

male to female transsexual ( androsexual ) in  zoosexual  form,                               exclusively sexually attracted to male equines .

           (primarily male donkeys) with (myself 100% female-roled receptive)

                  (I was the female roled partner with a male donkey from 1975-1996)

People who consider themselves androsexual are attracted to masculinity rather than gender. This means they’re attracted to aspects of  “maleness”  physical, emotional, mental, or sexual.

" To be transsexual, two conditions must apply: you must be same-sex oriented from childhood — that is, homosexual with regard to birth sex; and cross-sex identified. These parameters must be exclusive. You can’t be a bisexual transsexual — but you can certainly be a pseudo-bisexual transvestite. That in itself is not a problem, but when the latter claim the identity of real transsexuals, the ones they harm are those transsexuals.                                                                                                         - Rod Fleming

If I were to word what Rod stated above (Male to Female) , I'd say the conditions would be fully sexually inverted at early age, thus life long sexual attraction males and most likely only attracted to normal heterosexual males, and to be in only role of female for the male.  For myself , I only want to mate with heterosexual men in female role, this is the driving force for wanting to be fully emasculated physically, thus have surgery to have my penis replaced with a female like " Vulva ", so if nothing else, he sees I am fully emasculated / femininized sexually.

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From example a Gay male and myself are incompatible because I desire to be like a female, and only attracted to straight males , a Gay male doesn't represent 

" maleness sexually ", just as I don't see myself as a person with " maleness sexually ", another example would be; " my donkey lover Edward represents a much greater " maleness " , then even a straight human male .

 

  Which in part Edwards greater "maleness" stems from his large volume of semen he can impregnate me with and his unconditionally taking me as his " female " to breed         

                           

                     This gives him the much greater ability to Feminize me

                              After Edward has mounted and bred me,  

   I feel so feminine , so valued as a partner to him, a feeling only he has                                     ever giving me, and in a pure, unconditional form

Ideally, this is how I've always wanted to look , yet by far not having a penis is my greatest hope.

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I never have desired to pass as a female , I have always wished to convey that I am a fully emasculated female roled male, for me having a female like vulva

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 Being a sex object for men

I like this interview from a female perspective especially being objectified sexually.Yet at same time I wanted men's attention to treat me like a female,copulate,breed me, I was at same time objectifying the men for that purpose.

          "I agree with her that  culture  plays a big part in how we become".

I know , for as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be like one of the girls in playboy, thus in that regard,fantasy type realm, I have always dreamed of being a girl.From a realistic,rational way, I know the best I can hope for is having a man treat me like a girl.

Why I think I relate to " Third-gender " types ,

   such as Berdache, Muxe ,and Fa'afafine

1. I have never felt, that I identify as female,sure I have felt I should of likely been born as "female", due to fact I love feeling feminine,sexually I only desire to be in female role, and from my research the third-gender types don't consider themselve's female, only female roled in most cases.

2. As far as dressing more female like, one I like the comfort of wearing skirts, yet I don't like comfort of wearing padded bra, it helps me look and feel feminine, which is a very important part of my sexual orientation role / identity.

3. I have never desired to pass as a female,the idea of looking / being female is not a erotic thing,I only desire to express my sexual orientation as " fully female roled ".

4. I also realize that because I am only attracted to masculine men, men whom are heterosexual ,this being the case, I also realize the reality of ; " these men are going to see me for sexual pleasure", thus objectify me sexually, yet on same token I am objectifying them as well, as I need their services of their " Penis "

5. I also know my role in the past was very similar to a " prostitutional " type role, only difference I wasn't getting paid, and I was very selective as to whom and how I would perform sexually for.

6. My desire to have a female like " Vulva ", and not have a penis, has been mainly for identity reasons, and to express that I am fully emasculated as a female-roled male, and to a certain extent as a female being ,constantly in " Heat " and ready to be " bred ",be copulated with by a males. I have no problem with having as many men as possible, either penetrate me to ejaculate or ejaculate in my mouth daily, as long as they suit my liking,content/context is right.

My objective when with a man, is to make him ejaculate, it really isn't important if I ejaculate, I prefer to take a man's penis in me anally,and have him ejaculate up in me, yet whether I just give him a hand- job,blow-job, or get to take him in my bottom doesn't matter, main thing is seeing that he ejaculates, in turn he is making me feel feminine.

Thus if I don't ejaculate, my sex drive isn't hindered, thus I can just keep performing sexually til sore, or just tired out.

 Which was very much objective, if I needed to perform for a number of men that day,or instance (double teamed.party -fucked)

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It is a hassle keeping my " bottom " clean and ready for penetration

 - Differences -

Being a female-roled"Slut"

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MALE AND FEMALE SLUTS Shifts and Stabilities in the Regulation of Sexual Relations Among Young Heterosexual Men
by Michael Flood

"Among young women, receiving a negative sexual reputation can have a heavy price. Young women seen as ‘sluts’ face verbal harassment, the loss of friendships and
associations with other women, poor treatment by boys (e.g. boasting and joking about sex with her, and greater vulnerability to sexual harassment by boys who think that they can ‘try anything with her because you are going to get it’), feelings of dirtiness and general alienation
(Hillier, Lyn, and Deborah 1998, 26; Kitzinger 1995, 191).

At 48:16 of video above, a young lady asks about whom and type of sexual relationships the Fa'afafine have.

Sounds likes they have sex with multiple partners and often.

A lot like I was from 1998-2005

A big reason I identify well with Jennie June (autobiographer)

Jennie June was born into a Puritan family[1] in 1874 in Connecticut as Earl Lind. As a child, Lind asked others to call her by Jennie instead of Earl, and she spent much more time with girls than with boys. She became very shy and introverted when her parents sent her off to an all boys school and also became very depressed, considering suicide. Lind realized at a young age that she was an androgyne looking to change from male to female.[3] At the time, the term "transgender" was not used; instead words such as "androgyne", "invert", and "fairie" were used. She struggled throughout her life up to her late twenties with her extreme desire to perform fellatio, claiming to have partaken in over sixteen hundred sexual encounters in the span of a dozen years.

       "I know personally I loved being a "Slut" for the men, yet too many "cons" (dangers,moral issues etc.)

  " And it wasn't about romance, my boy-friends were seeing me so I'd suck their cocks,and/or butt fuck me "

    Believe me they were literally providing their cocks to me for free, so I often wondered who was the slut.

        Yet in the back of my mind , I was always wanting to meet a Man whom would take me as his full-               time sexual partner so as I didn't have to have to be seeking, thus dealing with all the risks that entails.

  A contrast between being male gendered verse female gendered

      I am sexually submissive,I don't feel right about using my penis to penetrate.

            I love that being with men,, they are taking that role, I  like they can ask/tell me to               "Perform" for them, I love that a man tells me to suck his cock, or get my pants                     down and bend over, so he can fuck me.

        With a female I can't be in the above role, and I have no desire to penetrate a female

             I simply have no desire to perform sexually in the male penetrative role, I don't                    even want anyone to see me with a "erection ". I only wish to convey that I can                      "only" perform sexually like a female,and it only way I feel good about performing.

Not only do I not gender identify as sexually male, nore do I not identify as typical "gay", as a passage from a Fa'afafine states;   "  none of the fa'afafine use the term "gay" to describe themselves. "Gays" as one fa'afafine told the first author "sleep with each other, but fa'afafine don't do that." Indeed, fa'afafine express disgust at the thought of engaging in sexual activity with another fa'afafine and stress that they do not do so. Instead, they point out, in contrast to "gays," they have sex with "straight men." (Evolving research on the evolution of male androphilia./thefreelibrary.com)

Since first learning of the traits of the  berdache , fa'afafine, and muxe,I very much identify as third-gender type, I have always felt like I was like a substitute for a female, straight men could have sex with me as often as they needed,even to it was my duty / role to sexual pleasure the men of the tribe.

 

 

Here is a person, whom desired to be some identity he wasn't ;

                 Grey Owl / wikipedia

       female-roled males

                like myself

     (Fem-males fairies,100% bottoms)

           "Are a Dime a Dozen "

 I personally found this true, especially from the time spent in internet gay chat rooms, there is alot of competition seeking / finding a true 100% top man.

Excerpts from above site;

The Struggle Is Real

Sorry to all the “TOP ONLY”s out there, but you will never know the struggles that come from bottoming. Here are 18 reasons it’s a hell of a lot tougher to be a bottom than a top.

Studies show that %.01 of gay men are tops

Okay, this is a blatant lie, but doesn’t it seem like that? Bottoms are a dime a dozen. They’re everywhere. And every time you meet a cute guy and think he’s a top, of course, he too, is a bottom. You can’t win. Demand is high. Supply is scarce.

Those tops that never finish

Sex is great. Sex is amazing. Prostate stimulation is a generous gift that the gay gods have graciously bestowed to us. However, getting pounded for two hours is absolutely exhausting. There’s something called diminishing marginal returns. The amount of pleasure you get from sex after an extended period goes down. It also can start to hurt.

Not knowing when you can eat

Things I never do: go on a date to a Thai or Indian restaurant. There’s nothing worse than feeling bloated and gassy after a meal and having to reject the hot guy who wants to bone you.

Higher risk of HIV

Bottoming puts you at a higher risk of acquiring HIV than tops. Luckily, there’s PrEP. A great piece in The Advocate illustrates how PrEP is empowering bottoms.

Cleanliness

Cleanliness is not something that tops need to worry about. They can stick that package of theirs into any mailbox, without worrying that they, themselves, might be dirty. Bottoms, on the other hand, have to worry about cleanliness, which definitely takes you out of the moment. We also have to prepare and clean extensively. (Tops don’t have to douche their peehole…)

Bottoms are slut shamed more often

Regarding their sexual conduct, feminine bottoms are often held to the same double standard that straight women are. Bottoms get shamed for being slutty or having a loose butthole (FYI, that’s not how anatomy works…). Masculine tops, on the other hand, are treated like straight men, and because of this, aren’t shamed the same way for casually sleeping around with many guys.

 

Needing to poop RIGHT after you clean

You douched yourself up or did whatever your cleaning routine is, only to have to poop an hour later. Possibly, the most frustrating thing in the world. 

When I did find a Str8 black top man
             I very much wanted to keep him pleasured,so he wouldn't look else where.

                       That mean't being available for him at all times as best possible

    Thus keeping my "bottom" clean and ready to get " boned " was a central focus of my           sexuality, I hated telling a man he couldn't bone me because I didn't feel clean and ready

A reason,along with other reasons I wish I had a "true vagina " and not a penis,so a man could bone me in both ways.

I've told many men over the years, " I wish I had a vagina ", plus I've always wanted double penetrated.

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Extreme mood changes of male sexual refractory period

For myself there was a huge difference in my post-0rgasm refractory period when trying to be in male sexual role with a female verse being in the female sexual role for a man.

Very much like night and day difference;

With a female, and trying to perform like a male should, I would feel great cognitive dissonance, sad,guilt, total loss of interest, even at times saying I can't do this again. It was always that way since my time with a female at age 18.
  Then I started feeling I was cheating a lady,because of my inability to be truly a man ,as my desire  to have a man do to me, what I was doing to her !

 The guilt of living a " Lie ", and being with a female, her thinking I was a true male-roled sexual person, cheating her from being with a real man.

When I orgasm in my female role, I will lose interest only for very short period, a hour at most, then I am ready to perform again, I have no negative emotions, all seems very right,that being in the female role is the way I should be I feel very good about it.

Funny thing is, all the mental health professionals I talked to, not one asked me about what my refractory period was like in the two roles;
 the Contrast between my female role verse my male role.

What it boils down to  ;   "Is why would I try to continue to perform in the male role when it seems so wrong, verse the female role   which seems so right ?

 Excerpt from above site;

This is technically known as the refractory phase. For a period of time anywhere from half an hour, in some cases up to 24 hours, men are simply incapable of becoming sexually aroused or achieving an erection. While women typically are capable of recovering their sexual interest more quickly, they also experience a change in hormones that alter their perceptions immediately after orgasm.  ( I am sure males have hormone change as well-me )

Like a female, I am ready to be penetrated very soon after ejaculating.

I also ejaculate without a erection, and my orgasms are much more intense when a man is "boning" me . 

Post-coital tristesse and Sexual Refractory ;

    "is the feeling of sadnessanxiety, agitation or aggression after sexual intercourse, mostly in males. Its name comes from New Latin postcoitalis and French tristesse, literally "sadness". Many people with PCT may exhibit strong feelings of anxiety lasting from five minutes to two hours after coitus.[1]  " - wikipedia

              The Post-coital tristesse - sadness,regret mostly went away

Once I started having sex with men in my female-role, in turn the men helping me feel feminine and thus psychologically emasculating as well as affirming to me that I could be sexy for them, please them sexually.

" The sadness or melancholia that follows post coital orgasm, or post-coital tristesse as it is known today, is a feeling that Schopenhauer argued is a testament to his claim. It is the realization that we are all slaves to the Will of Life, as it takes precedence over our own happiness. Post coital sadness should then follow as an explanation to the conclusion of a segment of Schopenhauer’s Will to Life. If a person has been successful in copulating, then they have fulfilled their need to reproduce and are momentarily caught in the abyss of meaninglessness." - Arthur Schopenhauer

Because I only desire to perform like a female sexually for a man, my dream has always been to take his penis inside me similar to how a female can.

 As well as I like how I look much better with a vagina/vulva.

  Simply I've just always felt, I should perform like a female sexually, and knowing both, I very much know that performing in the female role for a man is what is right for me.

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I think due to fact that I started having sex at a early age , and in the female role, and it feel so good and right, thus knowing how a male can make me feel so feminine and sexually so good, and as well being with females, which can't make me feel " right ".

Only a man can make me have orgasms and feel feminine as the females in the video above portray.

I thought following conversation to be very insightful

A Normal heterosexual Male,

         I believe would look at the following Females

                              and be sexually attracted to them

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Not for myself though,

I've never looked at a female and desired to have sex with her, I've always desired to look like her.

  And from at least puberty,I've always wanted to have sex as though I was a female, thus take a male's penis in me like I am female (in my bottom, my "Femboy Vagina").

             At least pretend he is 

 

      Impregnating me

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I've always wished I could really get pregnate and breast feed

For myself , I can only be sexually satisfied by being penetrated anally,                                                                   whether by a man or using my dildos.

Though I've not had a man "bred" me in 15 years , it is still very important that I clean my bottom and prep it to be "bred" everyday. So having a good dildos is very important to me.

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I need penetrated 15 to 18 inches to be truly satisfied

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When I do ejaculate I am always completely limp , I have no desire to ever have a erection, and is offensive to me to be erect.

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- The Style it   was with my   Men   -

" very different then my monogamous relationship with Edward "

I very much wanted alot of sexual attention from Men

                  Thus once I started performing sexually for a group of black men in 1998,

    I soon became their on call " Slutboy ", sucking their cocks or letting them breed me anally when ever they            needed.. once I trusted a guy I let him know if he happened to have any friends who might like me to perform      for them as well , I be willing to meet them . So by early 1999, I was generally seeing at least one different guy        every night and sucking his penis. Thus by 2000 I was seeing right around 100 men regularly every month,            and because I was self-employed as carpenter, I'd usually see a guy every morning, a guy at lunch and maybe at      night get my bottom boned , or more, then usually every Saturday night I'd go hang-out at guys man-cave ,            many guys stopped there, hung out abit,had few beers etc. then took off to go bar hopping or to parties etc. All      the guys that stopped by, knew I was there to perform sexually for them if they wanted and most I knew and          routinely had sex with during the week. Yet going to the man-cave was a perfect setting for me to get gang-              banged or they could take me to a private room , thus most Saturday night there at about midnight a bunch of        the guys would come rolling back in after being out partying and not finding a girl . I go bend over the pool            table ,toss a bunch condoms on the table and they'd start taking turns "boning me ".

                            (they had to wear condom)And I was only giving blow-jobs privately at my discretion

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     Usually I stay til about 2 am, by that time if one of the guys was going coming by, he was there already and had       boned me. Often the guys might returned with a group of young guys whom had never boned a                                 femboy/transsexual type person like me. For example one night 5 young guys I'd never met before came by,           they all boned me, of the 5, 4 of them started using me for sex routinely on their own.

         By 2001 I was seeing so many men routinely, it was wearing me out, all the running around , so I talked one       of my boyfriends into having gang-bang parties with me at his place on friday nights, thus started doing that,         another friend owned a night-club , he told me if I wanted to start at about 6pm on sunday evenings, he had a         large private room with a couple of pool tables, he told me he'd bone himself, and lets some other guys he             knew, that I be available on sunday night for gang-banging, that really got crazy fast, the first sunday evening         I arrived and walked into the private room at the night club there were already 6 young black studs playing           pool, none of which I'd ever met. I was dressed similarly as photo below, I had a basket full of condoms, some         k-y jelly, I simply walked over to one of the pool tables, waved the basket of condoms about so they all could          see, at same time saying ," everybody must wear one, I ain't got no disease, and don't need no disease " , showed them          the k-y jelly ,placed it in the basket and said " I want you's to fuck me silly, but please keep me lubed."

    

     After about 3 months of having the gang-bang parties Friday, Saturday and Sunday by Sunday night I usually        had gotten fucked about 50- 100 times, what was really nice was , I got to met alot new guys and if I was really         attracted to a specific guy, I'd see if he would be interested in having me give him blow-jobs at times                         during the week so I could get to know him better , and in hopes he might take me as his full time live-with             female-roled  partner. This was effective in regards to getting him alone so I could starting taking him anally         without a condom thus he was actually impregnating me with semen..yet still I was still just his femboy " Slut ,"      in my heart I knew it was very unlikely any of the guys would want me as their partner full-time, yet had to           try.

        I simply had to accept what they could give me, which in fact they were feminizing me to high degree

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At the end of each night after everyone had  fucked me , I lay on the pool table and have one of the guys that I was already routinely giving blow-jobs to , have him ejaculate in my mouth so guys could see how much I love swallowing semen. Within a few days I was seeing a few new guys from the parties privately and taking their semen orally as in video above, if not for the fact that I had to do my carpentry work to pay the bills, and the difficulty with scheduling when and where to meet my guys, I could of been getting fucked at least 5 times a day.

  I was very lucky, all the guys were kind, respectful, as well as playing the part of treating me like a female, like calling me their ladyboy, femboy, shemale and at same time giving me the feminizing I needed, a few of the guys even said they'd be willing to help me out with getting the vulvoplasty surgery so I could rid myself of my penis and then technically be a " real transsexual " yet as much as I wanted the surgery, I wouldn't do it due to the fact that I'd have to be on hormones the rest of my life, so I had to decline their help.

 Then after 3 or 4 months of doing all three parties, I realized I was rountinely giving most of the guys blow-jobs or they were fucking me privately , so at the partries we got a horizontal type bunching bag at each place, I made stands made of wood the bag set on so when I straddled the bag my knees were just touching the ground,  I told the guys I'd lay on my back so when they fucked me, another I could be jacking off into my mouth at same time, then before the one fucking me  ejaculated , if they wished they could get their penis pulled out of my bottom then hurry around and without having me touch their penis with my mouth, they could ejaculate all their semen into my mouth or they could simply have me jack them off as another guy fucked me, that way I would be able to swallow as much semen as possible, yet still be as safe as possible. That happened a few weeks then I wanted all the guys I was routinely seeing to start fucking me bare-back and ejaculating in my bottom at the parties. 
 
 They agreed, on the grounds that after each guy had climaxed in my bottom I had to go douche / clean my bottom,I very much wanted them to watch me "Deep-throating" , thus as well as they said I could start actually sucking their cocks if I rinsed my mouth out with listerene every time one of the ejaculated. 

   Just to lay on my back while one guy is ejaculating in my mouth, one guy is ejaculating in my bottom, and I'm stroking two other  guy's cock at same time was Extremely Feminizing for me.

 

                   

            And looking back, I should of been trying to find a donkey like Edward as soon as possible after he died.

            I proposed the idea to all the men about a triad MMF type arrangement, were he and a female were married, lived as normal couple, yet I would live with them and they both agreed that I could sexually pleasure him as often as they both agreed, she could always be present to watch if she desired, I in turn would help her with house work, be her good friend as well.

tumblr_ou8bxxsYG01wo5rd3o1_400.gif

With one of the men that I was routinely performing fellatio on, whom had a girlfriend, he was able to tell her that I routinely was sucking his cock,she thought it was not too crazy, thus she was very open minded, so he was able to introduce her and I, and with luck ,she agreed that her and I try sucking him at same time was worth a try, so her and I started doing that for him, cause she didn't like to swallow semen she had me swallow, then soon she was just watching or doing other tasks about  the house as I alone sucked him , by then he'd told her that he often fucked my bottom , she didn't like him doing that,not even if wearing condom, so from then on I only could suck his cock, which he and I very much understood due to fact a bunch of other guys were as well. I told them I was willingly to stop seeing all other men and only him. We tried that arrangement for about 2 months then I moved into their house, had my own bed room/bath, they went about life as they had, only difference was I'd give him a blow-job most every morning, he was a attorney, so often he would have me come down to the office around lunch and give me a good hard fucking, especially if he was stressed out about work. We tried this about 3 more months and she morally just decided it wouldn't work, thus it ended well, they got married and all three of us are still friends. And I remained celibated afterwards in search of a new equine boyfriend, which would be Oscar about 6 months later.

Were the Men I was having sex with as I performed for them in the female sexual role....Abusing me? or was I abusing them ?   

Were the guys whom were involved in gang-banging of me homosexual / gay simply because they were treating me sexually like a female, and (they remained very, very Male-roled for me)because I want and need to be treated sexually like a female?....(they remained very, very Male-roled for me)

During the 21st century, zoophilia was re-criminalized in the following countries or territories:

 Iowa (illegal since 2001),[30] Maine (illegal since 2001),[31] Oregon (illegal since 2001),[32] Illinois (illegal since January 1, 2003),[33][34] Maryland (illegal since October 1, 2002),[35][36] South Dakota (illegal since July 1, 2003),[37][38][39] France (illegal since March 10, 2004),[40] Washington (illegal since June 7, 2006),[41][42] Arizona (illegal since September 21, 2006),[43][44][45] Belgium (illegal since May 11, 2007),[46][47][48] Colorado (illegal since July 1, 2007),[49][50][51] Indiana (illegal since July 1, 2007),[52][53] Tennessee (illegal since July 1, 2007),[54][55] Netherlands (illegal since 2010),[56] Norway (illegal since January 1, 2010),[57] Alaska (illegal since September 13, 2010),[58][59] Australian Capital Territory (illegal since 2011),[60] Florida (illegal since October 1, 2011),[61][62][63] Germany (illegal since 2013),[64] Sweden (illegal since January 1, 2014),[65] and Denmark (illegal since April 2015).[29]  -History of zoophilia- Wikipedia

    " As much as I love performing sexually for men in a female role, I still would much prefer to be a female roled sexual partner for a male donkey and in a monogamous / live with context "

Sex with Animals

Is it wrong?- psychologytoday.com   

Few excerpts from above article ;

       " The fact that Denmark has made bestiality illegal is a step in the right direction. It suggests, though, that animal-sex tourism is a real problem. And most people don’t want to talk about it. If I so much as mention that such things are happening, most of my friends clap their hands over their ears and say, “I don’t want to know.” Indeed, these are difficult things to think about, if you love animals. But we need to start talking more openly about zoophilia—not to demonize those who practice it because not everyone who loves an animal too much is a sexual predator. But we do need to challenge its appropriateness, for the animals involved. If you care about animals, you should care about all of the diverse forms of violence and exploitation that we exact upon them."

          " Often the argument hinges on the issue of consent. Can animals consent to interspecies sex? Do they ever? It is relatively easy to know, from behavioral cues, when an animal does not want to participate (attempts to escape, cries and howls, facial expressions of pain or distress), but in the absence of overt “no” behaviors, how do we interpret the animal’s willingness or lack thereof? Is silence or absence of refusal to be taken as an indication of consent? What if the animal shows signs of pleasure, interest, willingness? "

Why is it socially unacceptable to have a sexual relationship with an animal?

 

 

 

A post at - quora.com

 

I have no factual answer or links to any research, I can only offer my opinion.

Most human societies have this crazy relationship with the notion of sex. They fight, kill, and write long rule books about what is allowed and what is not. Every time the topic of body and genitals comes up, people get their brains on fritz between what they feel is good or bad and what the general morals tell them to feel.

So we get never-ending battles over acceptability of things like virginity, rape, incest, promiscuity, masturbation, homosexuality, pedophilia, contraception, breast-feeding, menstruation, circumcision, sex reassignment, bestiality, orgasm, necrophilia, sadomasochism, pubic hair styles, tentacle porn, consent, abstinence… well, you can continue the list. It goes on forever and it never stops being controversial.

Sex with animals falls into the category of “most people think it's eww” and “it's unethical because animals can't consent”. Ergo socially unacceptable.

Let's take a look at other things which animals can't consent to, and most of which are eww, but which are mostly socially acceptable (to varied extent):

- meat production
- cage farming
- lab testing
- fur and leather farming
- animals used for hard work
- animals in circus
- forceful weaning of offspring
- foie gras production (Foie gras controversy - Wikipedia)
- artificial insemination and breeding
- branding, tattooing, tail clipping
- hunting and fishing
- pest extermination

I’m not saying all of these are necessarily omg horrors, but I’m just giving examples that these things are for some reason acceptable and having sex with animals isn’t.

I can only add a small remark that perhaps, even if we accept that there are some animals (particularly large dogs) that will happily fuck anything that moves without any animal abuse involved, it would be impossible to establish any point of acceptability for this because these animals are a minority, while acceptance and then legality will mostly work towards blanket generalizations, so the general social drift is mostly governed by “animal, so no,” without going into details.

 

 

 

 

Here is a organization called ;  stopanimalsexualassault.org   

Few excerpts from their site ;

                                                        Types of Bestiality

There are three types:

 

1) Opportunisitc or Safety-Value Sex, which is a type of abuse that is  "often viewed as the act of a curicous youth or a lonely person." An opportunitistic abuser seeks out the most accessible and vulnerable animals for sexual gratification or arousal and the abuser generally acts in a non-threatening manner to the animal. The abuser generally decides to have sex with the animal due to boredom, insecurity, and curiousity or looking for a substitute to a human partner.

 2) Fixated Sex is where the animals are the primary or exclusive focus of the human abuser’s sexual desires. Some Fixated Abusers have a species or gender preferences and use pornography involving animals. Generally, a fixated abuser will use the defense that the sex  between themselves and the animal is “consensual” and claims it benefits the animals. Additionally, the abuser justify the abuse by characterizing the behavior as “loving.”  Moreover, Fixated sex abusers may seek out employment in animal-related fields in order to access to numerous potential victims.

3) Domineering Sex or Sadistic animal abusers are generally batterers, rapists, and pornographers. These type of abusers may force women, children, and other vulnerable people to have sex with an animal or animals to humiliate, dominate, control, and exploit both their human and animal victims. A Sadistic abuser will probably injure or kill the animal and some may derive sexual gratification from the pain and suffering inflicted during the act. A great example of this type of abuser can be seen in State v. George A., 308 Conn. 274, 63 A.3rd 918 (Conn. 2013). This case involved a young child who was abused by her father from the age of 9 to age 11, which involved sexual abuse and physical abuse. The Defendant filmed and directed the victim, his child, to insert mice into her vagina, crush mice and pinkies (baby mice) with her feet and buttocks and physically abused her. However, the State did not charge the Defendant with violating Connecticut statute C. G. S. A. § 53a-73a “Sexual assault in the fourth degree," or for animal cruelty or for creating a crush video as well. As it was not until 2010 that 18 U.S.C.A §48 was amended and Connecticut's animal sexual assault law was not effective until 2013. There is no evidence that this case sparked the passage of Connecticut's animal sexual assault law other than the dates of the case and the date the law became effective.

 

 

 

    For myself the only type above that could be called abuser is type 3 

  For myself the type 2 describes me and 100% true in that ;

1.  "Additionally, the abuser justify the abuse by characterizing the behavior as “loving.” 

2.  " Fixated Sex is where the animals are the primary or exclusive focus of the human abuser’s sexual desires" .

 For myself  the type 1 fits me in following ways

1. "often viewed as the act of a curicous youth or a lonely person."

2. " The abuser generally decides to have sex with the animal due to boredom, insecurity, and curiousity or looking for a substitute to a human partner.

             (Edward and Oscar were very much substitutes for a human male sexual partner / companion.)

   And by chance and context/contain of mine and Edward's relationship I became exclusively sexually attracted to male donkeys and equines or exclusively a zoosexual with one specific species attraction and only in the female role for the male of that species.

I am Secondly attracted to adult male humans.

 -Yet first and foremost I am psychologically a androphilic male to female transsexual -

                                                                                        (or sexually 100% female roled)

Androphilia

Magnus Hirschfeld, an early-20th century German sexologist and physician, divided homosexual men into four groups: paedophiles, who are most attracted to prepubescent youth, ephebophiles, who are most attracted to youths from puberty up to the early twenties;

androphiles, who are most attracted to persons between the early twenties and fifty; and gerontophiles, who are most attracted to older men, up to senile old age.[4]

[5] According to Karen Franklin, Hirschfeld considered ephebophilia "common and nonpathological, with ephebophiles and androphiles each making up about 45% of the homosexual population."[6]

The term androsexuality is occasionally used as a synonym for androphilia

I , from a ethics standpoint would never have sex with a male younger then 18 years old, and they had to prove their age with a driver's I.D prior to me performing sexually for them.

-Why animal orgasm matters to our moral universe-

theconversation.com

During the last 10 years, anti-bestiality laws have been passed in many states in the United States, and also in a number of European countries, some of which, such as Sweden, reanimated medieval laws forbidding bestiality that had been abolished more than half a century ago.

 

The consistent justification for this new wave of laws forbidding sexual contact with animals is that sex with animals is necessarily abusive, since animals cannot consent to sex with humans.

The vast, but usually unremarked, discrepancy between public abhorrence at having sex with animals and public acceptance of slaughtering, euthanising and experimenting on them suggests that thinking imaginatively about animal sexuality and animal orgasm may help us to understand something important about how compassion for animals might be aroused.

But do animals orgasm? How can one possibly tell? Does it matter? For whom?

                                                                ..................

From my point of view ; society can call my sexual relationships with my male donkey lover Edward .

                                            yet "abusive" is very un-true