Hermaphrodite

 " hermaphroditus Salmacis en Hermaphroditus " by Hendrick Goltzius

Hendrick Goltzius's drawing of Salmacis and Hermaphroditus, relates in a similar that way I feel,as I always felt not man, not woman.Both,and sexually always desiring to perform as a woman, yet not wishing to be a woman,yet desiring to not have a penis and instead have a female like vagina.

Mainly for myself, I always desired to take a man's penis up in like a real female

For myself,my desire as mainly always been to "perform sexually for a man in the female role ".And though I very much like being penetrated anally, if I could have a vagina,that would be ideal." My fantasy "

I still desire to present myself as feminine as possible for a man

My ideal self as a " hermaphrodite ", female-roled male.