Sexual inversion topics

                 and

       Gender Identity Disorder

Homosexual Transsexual

 I feel I most closely relate to a this definition of my role

                         (Homosexual transsexual-Wikipedia)

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Male-to-feminine transsexuals: classic sexual inversion

                                                                         - rodfleming.com

MtF transsexuals seem to be universally hostile to the idea of sex with women or with other transsexuals. In fact, they are famous for dumping boyfriends who exhibit any ‘gay tendencies’. Don Kulick and others have observed that, amongst Brazilian travestis (the local name for pre-operative transsexuals), a girl may pester her boyfriend insistently to let her penetrate him and then, if he does, immediately dump him, having proven him to be a ‘maricona’ after all. Since a maricona (faggot) is a woman exactly as the TS is, that is, having been born male, with a sexual inversion, a continued relationship with him would be regarded by the girl as lesbian – something she would not be prepared to countenance.

Kulick, in his book, Travesti, even mentions one case where the girl liked the man, so, after ‘outing’ him in this way and then he begging to stay with her…she put him in a frock and sent him out to work the streets, reasoning that it was unfair for her ass to pay for both of them, since he obviously liked dick in his, too!

‘The truth of the invert was inside rather than on the surface; thus a male invert was “really” a woman, and should be allowed to express a female gender, and a female invert was “really” a man, and should be allowed to dress and live as one. Inversion also referred to the ways in which such bodies inverted the laws of nature, which supposedly decreed that male bodies should desire female sexual partners instead of male ones, and vice versa. The theory of sexual inversion maintained conventional categories of sexuality and gender and did not allow one to be divided from the other. Inversion meant that a man’s homosexual desires, effeminacy, or both did not challenge masculine gender or heterosexual sexual norms; rather, a perfectly normal heterosexual woman with a feminine gender was trapped inside him, yearning to come out.’ (Encyclopedia.com)

                     I personally have simply always felt ; " I should be Female "

                  * I've always wanted to be "wife" not a "husband"

After researching "transgender" for so many years now, it's fairly clear the term represents a large spectrum of out comes in how a individual develops.

My sexual inversion has always been clear in that I've always wanted to be sexually receptive like a female, wanted males to treat me sexually like a female, which in turn manifested into me becoming a female-roled zoosexual for intact male dogs, stallion ponies and horse and Edward my jack donkey partner.

Once all of my animal partners were sucessfully impregnating me anally with their semen, I felt so female like and was quickly psychologically emasculated.

      There was no way I could ever be like a hetersexual male after my experience.

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                     - A classic male to female transsexual -

                                                                         article by Rod Fleming

" They identify as women, or at least as feminine, and they tend to be attracted to masculine men. In sex they vastly prefer to adopt the receptive role and this does not appear to be an acquired orientation.

This group is called, variously, ‘feminine gays’ and ‘transsexuals’ depending on their appearance, but my research in the Philippines shows that there is no substantive distinction between them. The differences are purely cosmetic. In cultures where it is acceptable for them to appear in feminine gender, they do so; in cultures where it is not, they don’t. The function of their appearance is to attract the kind of sexual partners they desire: masculine alpha-males. So, what causes this?

The evidence supports the idea that this model is the result of anomalies in hormonal deliver in utero. Simply put, at times when boys should have received testosterone, they did not, and when girls should not have, they did. The precise timing and amount of the variation will affect the final result, so this implies a scale of variation or an aetiology. Perhaps surprisingly we have had, for over a hundred years, a descriptive term for this. It is ‘Sexual Inversion’, though perhaps it is better thought of as psycho-sexual inversion or ‘Inverted Sexuality’.

Male sexuality is active, it is the desire to penetrate. Female sexuality is passive, the desire to be penetrated, though, particularly in females, there are other elements as well. Sexual Inversion or Inverted Sexuality, then indicates that an individual with male physical sex has female sexuality and a female, vice versa. This inversion is innate and not learned. This is crucially important.

If they identify as the gender aligned with their sexuality, these individuals are transsexual, not ‘transgender’. Males like this do not have a masculine gender to transcend; their natural gender is feminine. Their adoption of feminine gender is a consequence of their desire to be penetrated. And, being males, they are competitive and often appear more feminine than females in the same culture.

(It is worth, perhaps, taking a moment to point out that transsexuals often exhibit the elevated libido of any male of their age group. While it is sometimes suggested that transwomen have reduced libidos, this is misdirection coming from transvestite autogynephiles, who are not transsexual. It is offensive to transsexuals because, as usual, AGPs presume to speak for them, but also to women, for the same reason.)

  Role identification

  If male, the child may identify strongly with, rather than crush on, strong feminine role models, like Wonder Woman (a classic, reported by many,) Buffy in Buffy the Vampire Slayer,  Bella Swan in Twilight or Hermione Grainger in the Harry Potter series. Typical behaviours will include wishing to look like these heroines, to talk as they do and so on, even to adopt their names. Many report having engineered games played with boys such that they played the female lead. Compare this with normative boy behaviours, where the identification will always be with classic masculine heroes.

As development progresses, the romantic crushes and the pleasurable feelings from the genitalia become linked and the child might begin sharing such experiences with other children of the same sex, depending on the culture. This is exploratory and their desire will increasingly be to experience their sexual feelings with someone who conforms to their crush target, now established as their mental image of the ‘ideal partner’.  This mental model is projected out into the world and they begin to seek partners who match it, just as we all did.

By Tanner Stage 4 this association will be firmly established. At this point, the child becomes eroticised, that is, the yearning feelings for emotional attachment become permanently linked to the pursuit of sexual reward with a specific erotic target type. In male Inverts, it goes without saying that this target type will be a masculine, straight man.

(Note: at this point, which is crucial, a misdirection may occur in which the crush target, instead of being projected outside into the world, remains internalised and the person becomes their own sexual target. This may give rise to several conditions, including Autogynephilia, which we discuss in other articles.)

This process, as described above, explains why observers like Freud thought that we were all bisexual; that is not really the case, it’s just that sexuality had not fully crystallised and was still in the experimental phase.

Once the gender-conforming crush targets do become available, typically the young cis person will abandon or even reject any further sexual play with members of his or her own sex. Notice that in male Inverts, this would mean a cessation of any sexual experimentation with girls; however,  they rarely admit to such experiments with cis-girls and instead appear to focus, from a very early age, on assisting boys in their own sexual explorations. These might be restricted to manual manipulation or fellatio (of the boy) but do often include recipient anal sex — again, never penetrative. Our understanding is that their efforts in this regard were much appreciated!

  Erotocism and puberty

As puberty approaches, these will not diminish, rather the inverse and by Tanner Stage 2, usually 11-13 years in males, they will be added to by an increasingly intense erotic desire for the target sex and, crucially, a desire to play the gender-appropriate (not sex-appropriate) role with that target. So Sexually Inverted boys will not only seek masculine male partners, but they will also seek to be women to them, both socially and sexually. They want to be the girlfriend. This is why few HSTS are prepared to ‘switch’ in romantic relationships. They get no sexual or romantic affirmation from playing the male (in this case) role with a man, in fact the opposite;  but they may still do it for money.

                                                             -RodFleming.com

Being extremely sexually inverted,

                          manifests into becoming a;

                    " female roled zoosexual "

                                    along with,

I've always felt because I was so shy and awkward socially it lead me to be sexually attracted to male equines and large male dogs.

I began performing fellatio on my uncles 4 coonhounds at age 10, followed soon after by performing fellatio on a jack donkey Edward

                                   a long with,

A ironic thing about my sexual history is; I grew up in a neighborhood where a older male friend 13 years old who lived about 4 houses away started having me suck his penis and he would ejaculate in my mouth.

He was the first male who's penis I sucked routinely that was ejaculating in my mouth prior to my own puberty.

                 

I was clearly submissive homosexual and 100% female role after 2 young males started using my bottom to penetrate and ejaculate in by age 13

 

I was clearly a preferred being a zoosexual by age 13, once the dogs and then a stallion pony actually penetrated me anally and impregnated me with their semen. 

Once I was partnered with Edward, the stallion pony and the dogs, once they began breeding me anally nearly every day I no longer desired to have human male partners.

                              "I should be a Girl "

 

     I don't especially like permanent tattoos yet if I were to get           one it would be like as below photo "I should be a Girl "

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" Please breed the man out out of me "

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                 -And my Edward very much bred all the man out of me-

 I kept track of our breedings after we started living together in a log book- 1981-1996 ;

      april.-oct.was generally about 60-150 times a month. on average 3-5  per day, yet as often as 25 times every 24 hours.

      nov.-april was generally about 40-60 times a month.

               yearly was ranged from 884-1702 , most one year was, he'd bred me 1702 times.

     The most in a 24 hour period was 25 times,

with 15-20 times per 24 hour period occurring 123 times in the 14 years from 1982-1996,

and for the 14 year period was Edward breed me 21,756 times ,

Most times in a 1 hour period=4 times,.....(it was very common to breed me twice in the first 15 minutes, this happened very frequently on work day nights when I first got cleaned/prepared for him.

   Most times on a work night 6pm to 10pm=8 times

   Most times in a 7 day period=91 times

   Most times in a month = 265 times  (times off work 2 weeks -when with him most of 24 hour period and he  bred me 8-15 times each day/ night ...91 wk. 1 . 81 wk. 2 , 48 wk. 3 , 45 wk. 4 ,) 

1982=1702 ,  1983=1684, 1984=1691, 1985=1676, 1986=1723, 1987=1650, 1988=1688, 1989=1674, 1990=1453,

1991=1465, 1992=1444, 1993=1065, 1994=1004, 1995=953, 1996=884.......adding for the 7 years between 1975-1982 at aprox. 1000 times a year = 7000 plus 21,756 ,

This doesn't include number of times I masturbated and took his semen orally, which was at least once every day

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I prefer term " sexual inversion " because I feel that I am primarily female like sexually, I've always desired to be a male partner's female sexual partner and my my need to feel as feminine as possible and only female sexually receptive.

Modern society doesn't seem to view homosexuality with femininity or female sexually roled as I am. Today It seems the term homosexuality seems primarily as describing the term "gay", which I don't identify with.

I think " Female-roled male " best fits me, I like called a "fem-boy" " fem-male " as well.

I think this is primary reason I chose to be with my jack donkey partner/lover Edward , as he could make me feel truly like his " female partner " when he was breeding me.

         -"Helper in the nest"-

                        hypothesis

Some researchers believe that to understand the evolution of gay people, we need to look at how they fit into the wider culture. Paul Vasey's research in Samoa has focused on a theory called kin selection or the "helper in the nest" hypothesis.

The idea is that gay people compensate for their lack of children by promoting the reproductive fitness of brothers or sisters, contributing money or performing other uncle-like activities such as babysitting or tutoring. Some of the gay person's genetic code is shared with nieces and nephews and so, the theory goes, the genes which code for sexual orientation still get passed down.

                                         -----------------------------------

I still question, " how did the individual become sexually inverted prior to becoming the  "helper in the nest" ?

 - Hormones and Human Sexual Orientation -

                                                            Jacques Balthazart

Abstract;

 

Many people believe that sexual orientation (homosexuality vs. heterosexuality) is determined by education and social constraints. There are, however, a large number of studies indicating that prenatal factors have an important influence on this critical feature of human sexuality. Sexual orientation is a sexually differentiated trait (over 90% of men are attracted to women and vice versa).

 

In animals and men, many sexually differentiated characteristics are organized during early life by sex steroids, and one can wonder whether the same mechanism also affects human sexual orientation. Two types of evidence support this notion. First, multiple sexually differentiated behavioral, physiological, or even morphological traits are significantly different in homosexual and heterosexual populations.

 

Because some of these traits are known to be organized by prenatal steroids, including testosterone, these differences suggest that homosexual subjects were, on average, exposed to atypical endocrine conditions during development. Second, clinical conditions associated with significant endocrine changes during embryonic life often result in an increased incidence of homosexuality.

 

It seems therefore that the prenatal endocrine environment has a significant influence on human sexual orientation but a large fraction of the variance in this behavioral characteristic remains unexplained to date. Genetic differences affecting behavior either in a direct manner or by changing embryonic hormone secretion or action may also be involved.

How these biological prenatal factors interact with postnatal social factors to determine life-long sexual orientation remains to be determined.

                                                     ---------------------------------------

Looking back at my life, I believe the reason I have always felt so feminine and have been sexually attracted to males is due to some biological factor that occurred in the womb, because I have always felt I should be female much more then male, and I have always wanted to be a male's female sexual partner.

Postnatal social factors clearly played role in type of males I chose to mate with, personal preferences, opportunities.

Because I was very sexually attracted to my jack donkey lover Edward , then had the opportunity to be a female roled lover for him, then by circumstance he and I meshed/bonded as perfectly.

Once Edward had actually bred me (ejaculated up inside me anally)...I was his, and belonged to him as his mate. I knew then I was 100% female sexually roled/fully sexually inverted.

Yet if he had not allowed me to first masturbate and perform fellatio on him our sexual relationship wouldn't of evolved to him penetrating me anally, thus I most likely wouldn't of became exclusively his sexual partner.

Becoming a Dominate Top Man's 

                                  Caged-submissive slutboy

                                               2003-2005

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  How I became a Caged submissive sissy/slut 

for Steve and all members of the Indigo groups

I'd been looking or trying to meet a Top man to take me as his submissive feminine/sissy bottom for two years, finally while on a online forum I met Todd a sub-bottom that lived near me, we got to know each other pretty well then finally met after a month or so of online and phone conversations'.

Todd was telling me about Steve, a Dom Top man he was involved with one day, explaining to me how much he loved Steve to fuck him, and that he routinely had him come to his house every Wednesday night, how took his time and always gave him a good hour-long intense butt fucking.

Often there might be a friend or two of Steve's there that where also tops, thus all would fuck Todd.  Any way Steve had asked Todd to let him know if he knew of any other femboys that needed to get bred routinely, that were submissive, willing to get gang-banged.

Todd explained how he was  just one of 24 bottoms, Steve had as a Dom Top, and that his role in Steve's harem/group of bottoms was a sub-bottom.The harem had a hiarchy of; 1. stud bottoms, 2. submissive bottoms, 3. caged/collared feminine submissive bottoms.

Todd explained that the group was called Indigo2 , which was made up of Steve's harem,.... along with 8 other Dom Tops and their harems, and that Indigo2 was a sub group of Indigo Group which was a group with 60 Dom Tops and their harems in Chicago area.

Todd explained how he was  just one of 24 bottoms, Steve had as a Dom Top, and that his role in Steve's harem/group of bottoms was a sub-bottom.

The harem had a hiarchy/roles of;  stud bottoms,  submissive bottoms, and caged/collared feminine submissive bottoms

Todd then conveyed that Indigo2 group here was much in need of some caged/collared feminine submissive bottoms so Steve would be very interested in meeting me as currently the group only had one caged/collared sub.

To make a long story short, Steve was soon Topping me and after a week with him every member of Indigo2 group except the one caged/collared sub had ejaculated in my mouth or fucked me wearing a condom.

  ( all 9 Dom Tops and 82 group bottoms had topped me at least once by end of that week)

After a month with Steve, him trying me out to see if the group was right for me and was I right for the group, Steve asked me to be a caged/collared feminine submissive bottom for the group, my reply was; " yes ". 

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                  The Indigo house setting allowed me to do my life's true role, which is to;

  " Belong to a Man", (Edward for example was my Man and I was his girl), at Indigo house I belonged to many men as a caged slut, so any member could Top me, for example every day, nearly every Stud bottom that a visited the house would greet all the caged house sluts like myself by having us putting a condom on them, then he'd slide his penis in our bottom for a few seconds, walk around and do that to all of us .

The Chicago Indigo house had 60 Dom Tops , and about 650 stud bottoms, and there were 63 caged sluts like me living at the house.

All of the Dom Tops would bare-back all of us caged sluts at least once a month, I'd been topped by nearly all 650 Stud bottoms in first month there.

The Dom Tops naturally had to give their attention first to their own harem Stud bottoms, then us caged bottoms, the Dom Tops, had the role of bare-backing any member, including the female and shemale Mistresses, the Mistresses could be bare-back fucked by any Dom Top or Stud bottom with their permission.

The shemale Mistresses could bare-back fuck any caged house bottom as often as able to, with 11 shemale Mistresses living at the house with us 63 caged sluts, I'd usually get bare-back each of them once a week.

After I been living at the house a few months I could accept being taken by a Stud bottom as his " bare-back slut ", thus he became like a lower status Dom Top, a Stud bottom was allowed to take 5 caged house sluts as his for bare-backing, thus most of us caged sluts wanted to belong to as many Stud bottoms as possible so we could take semen up inside our bottoms.

Luckly I had 15 stud bottom take me as their slut for bare-backing in 2 months time.

 

 

 

 

                      Apart from sexual inversion's meaning for me is my being; 

                                               " 100% female sexually roled "

   I've always desired to dress publicly in a fashion that reflected my sexual role

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I've always dreamed of a society to live in where

I could dress like these images show, and very much how I prefer to dress.

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If that society existed, then I would get breast implants, yet to get implants then try to hide/conceal them publicly isn't practical.

Though I very much have always wanted to get breast implants.

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Yet primarily I've always wanted a vagina

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In my heart I consider myself as a "sexually inverted MtoF transsexual" and ideally a my sexual orientation to be " female roled exclusive zoosexuality", yet due to law passed 2001,

                                           Thus have be celibate for 21 years

                                         Researching Paraphilias

 

 

 

Paraphilia- wikipedia

(previously known as sexual perversion and sexual deviation ) is the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals. 

I personally feel I am a "Exhibitionist" to a degree, I am a "Zoosexual" and have always had "Gender Identity Disorder" (transsexual-post-op) to high degree.

     From my earliest memories these three conditions have been a aspect of my life

Believe me, since having access to internet I've done exhaustive research on these three topics.

 Much of my research;

                                                 Has focused on correlation between,

                  exhibitionism, Gender Identity Disorder and bestiality / zoosexuality

The only common denominators I've found that relate to my experirnces are;

 1. Psychoanalytical theories /exhibitionism – these theories posit that male gender identity requires separation from his mother, psychologically so that he does not identify with her as a member of the same sex. 

                                        ( fairly certain this is part of my cause of all three)

                                                                                                

                                                            Exhibitionism

                                                             nudism / posing nude                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            - minddisorders.com

Causes

Several theories have been proposed regarding the origins of exhibitionism. As of 2002, however, none are considered conclusive They include:

  • Biological theories. These generally hold that testosterone, the hormone that influences the sexual drive in both men and women, increases the susceptibility of males to develop deviant sexual behaviors. Some medications used to treat exhibitionists are given to lower the patients' testosterone levels.

  • Learning theories. Several studies have shown that emotional abuse in childhood and family dysfunction are both significant risk factors in the development of exhibitionism.

  • Psychoanalytical theories.  These are based on the assumption that male gender identity requires the male child's separation from his mother psychologically so that he does not identify with her as a member of the same sex, the way a girl does. It is thought that exhibitionists regard their mothers as rejecting them on the basis of their different genitals. Therefore, they grow up with the desire to force women to accept them by making women look at their genitals.

  • Head trauma. There are a small number of documented cases of men becoming exhibitionists following traumatic brain injury (TBI) without previous histories of alcohol abuse or sexual offenses.

  • A childhood history of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The reason for the connection is not yet known, but researchers at Harvard have discovered that patients with multiple paraphilias have a much greater likelihood of having had ADHD as children than men with only one paraphilia.

                                                                                                                                                                      

 

 

    The cause above is what I identify with; 

 

Psychoanalytical theories. "These are based on the assumption that male gender identity requires the male child's separation from his mother psychologically so that he does not identify with her as a member of the same sex, the way a girl does. It is thought that exhibitionists regard their mothers as rejecting them on the basis of their different genitals. Therefore, they grow up with the desire to force women to accept them by making women look at their genitals".

I always have had more of the feeling; " I wanted females to accept me as one of them" 

I think this is also the cause for the; " longing,at times craving to to get the gential sex reassignment surgery so I wouldn't have a penis.

This was what I gained when posing nude, all the females in class accepted me nude, it was never about sexuality, posing nude for me was always about acceptance by the females, being one of them, at least in my mind.

Posing was never erotic, a turn on etc. I never had to worry about getting aroused when I posed.

                                         I often thought of the  exhibitionism / nudism

                                       

                                         " as a cry out for help, as thought trapped " 

                                              I can remember in third grade I'd have a

                                reoccurring daydream that I was "Tinkerbell" trapped.

 

                                          I think I became a zoosexual because;                                                   

The driving force of above " I wanted to be like a Girl ", Edward was there at the right time,

I was sexually attracted to him, he allowed me first to masturbate him and take his semen orally for me to ingest, with lead to him actually penetrating me anally and ejaculating up inside my bottom " breeding me ".

  The first time Edward mounted, penetrated me " bred me ", was so surreal actually like a type of a wonderful, yet shocking trauma and was though it imprinted the need to be bred by him so deeply, I knew instantly I wanted to his female roled partner forever.

I think so many factors came together in harmony, I wanted him intensely, and he quickly seemed to take me like a surrogate jennie that was always in heat, I was lucky in that I could accomodate his long penis in my bottom, all I really had to do was getting in my breeding pose for him and he'd generally soon be mounting and breeding me in his powerful, dominate way.

I know once he'd got done breeding me I felt intensely female, so complete, just knowing his live sperm were deep up inside me swimming around made me cry with tears of joy.

My theory as was occurred in me

Sexual-Inversion

"homosexuality / transsexuality"

Gender Identity Disorder

Societal condemnation of homosexuality

                               and

                      Transsexuality

Far more Americans now accept that homosexuality is not just a choice. The percentage who believe homosexuality is something one is “born with” was just 13 percent in 1977 (Gallup, 2007), but in 2015, 51 percent believed that gays and lesbians are born as such (Gallup, 2015).

Societal attitudes toward homosexuality-wikipedia

Social condemnation of homosexuality

Exhibitionism

(need for female identity)

Zoosexuality

In my mind my Animal partners offered me a Safe Secure

                     and Dependable companion to be with

                                            as though

                            " My Secret was Safe with them "

I am fairly certain it will be long time before;

 Societal condemnation of zoosexuality ends

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I don't know, what causes homosexuality, I only know I love being penetrated by Males, especially large intact male dogs due to their ability to lock up inside me in copulatory tie, thus steadily impregnate me with their sperm for 10-20 minutes in turn making me feel like I'm their female surrogate sexually.

to be continued.............

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