My first true sexual partner;

Edward my male donkey lover/partner "

From 1975 to 1996 my life's role was being my jack donkey Edward's companion, care-giver and female-roled sexual partner or his surrogate jenny (female donkey)

                                          ( a scenario / thought experiment based on fact )

                               I was his " Female-roled partner "

The following is about how I came to be Edward's fully female-roled                           breeding mate / partner by the fall of 1975.

                           And then partners from 1975-1996


                                   Due to the Nature of this Topic ;

I have greatly struggled with the choice of to, or not to write about my relationship with Edward , however in my mind, I cared for Edward in the highest degree, and was 100% devoted to him in regards to his entire well-being as a care giver, a partner and lover / sexual partner.

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At about age 10 I had befriended a male donkey whom lived at a nearby boarding stable , he seemed to really belong to no-one, I found out he was simply left there by owners that couldn't care for him...thus I spent alot of time with him, I named him Edward.


For the 3 years of seeing Edward very often, spending much time with him, he and I formed a strong bond with each other, yet until age 13 and I sexually matured due to puberty I had no real strong sexual attraction toward him even though since meeting him I would often see him with his long , slim and dark penis hanging down.

Because at times owners of jennie (female) donkeys would begin their  jennie to the stable / farm for Edward to breed I would get to witness how he bred the jennies, to me it was just simply a impressive event every time I got to see him breed a jennie.

I had known for a long time that I was different in that I felt I should be a girl, yet at puberty life changed in that I found I was very attracted to Edward sexually and was soon dreaming of him breeding me like he bred the jennies.

One day I arrived at the stables to hang out with him as usual, seeing some one had brought a jennie for him to breed, he as usually came and greeted me, yet I must of caught him at a bad time, his interest was the jennie, because he cut our greeting short and walked out to the jennie, she was receptive and posed for him to mount her , as I watched he rose up and beautifully mounted her and began thrusting. A scene much like the zebras in below video.

After he was done, he came back over to hang out with me, I remember the first thing I said to him when got to me was ;

                          " some day I want you doing that to me ".

                              With Edward my Secret was Safe

With Edward I was able to accept my transsexual dilemma, accept that I wanted to be like a girl sexually, he gave me the ability to have someone who accepted me as I was, helped me feel feminine.
Especially after the publicly shaming at school after someone revealed/started the rumor that I liked being like a girl sexually (performing fellatio and being penetrated anally).

With Edward I could keep my sexual identity secret,or at least no other humans would be having sex with me, as I suspected one of my boyfriends may have got the rumor started accidently.

I also felt meeting Edward, bonding with him emotionally as I had at 10 years old, then at 13 maturing sexually from puberty, and then to have Edward there with me to take me as his female roled sexual partner was like a  " miracle " a one in million chance that he and I met then were able to even be compatible sexually. 

Being his partner simply felt perfect for me, as I knew I needed to be female sexually roled, I needed a male that I could devote myself to , serve sexually and a male whom would make me feel like I was female.


My first eperience with having a orgasm came in early summer of 1975, realizing one day while doing calisthenics in gym class I noticed I could bend over close enough so I might be able to get my penis in my mouth, I remember going home after school rushing to the bathroom locking the door then getting nude,I then tried the calisthenics position I had been doing at school, sure enough I was soon bend with my entire erect penis in my own mouth and to my real amazement I was ejaculating into my mouth as I was having my first self induced orgasm.

After sucking my own penis for several days, then by chance soon seeing Edward with a erection as I stopped to visit him after school, I very much now wanted to suck his penis.

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As I my rode my bike back home all I could think about was " would Edward allow me to suck his penis ? " Upon getting home I hurried to my bedroom and started sucking my penis, all the while imagining sucking Edward's penis, wondering how it would feel, what would it be like for him to ejaculate in my mouth. The next day, I wanted to suck Edward's penis so badly, so I took my canteen filled with warm water and a soft sponge, and headed to the stables to see Edward, once there we played frisbee a short time, then while taking a break, I started brushing him just as I had for the last 3 years, then rubbed his belly then, worked way toward his penis, soon his penis dropped out, I was ready with the canteen and sponge, he was receptive to letting me wash his penis, and soon was erect, l simply took his penis into my mouth a started licking and sucking as I stroked his long shaft with other, he soon was jerking about, and before I knew it his penis head flared a huge squirt of semen shot into my mouth, forcing me to take it out of mouth, as squirt after squirt went on my face, in my hair and down front of me.

                                              Edward would ejaculate much like above horse

From that moment I simply knew my role was doing that for Edward, after that day I would suck his penis as often as he was receptive to allowing me to suck him.

I'd say after a week and had masturbated and sucked him til he ejaculated nearly everyday. After that he'd soon get a erection upon me arriving to see him, which was 7 days a week, thus our normal way to greet each day was him having me suck and masturbate him til he ejaculated in my mouth.

              Edward would often signal to me that he wanted me to suck him as image below shows,

              he'd get erect then reach back and take his penis in his own mouth, or get a erection and prance around me as he tried patiently wait for me to wash his penis, knowing I soon be eagerly sucking and stroking him til he reached orgasm. He and I were the greatest match imaginable , as he seemed constantly horny as much as I constantly wanted to suck and please him.

donkey self suck77.gif

I felt he and I were as near perfectly compatible as two living beings could possible be due to the fact that he seemed to always want me to pleasure him, and I always wanted to pleasure him in return.

After about a month of masturbating and taking his semen orally, he often would drag the canteen over to me or as we were walking and I had the canteen strapped over my shoulder he'd tug on it , then when looking down at his penis I see he was hanging fully out or he was fully erect, signaling me to wash his penis and masturbate him. He always clearly showed me he wanted me to pleasure him. 

As the following study reports ;

     The refractory period following ejaculation, during which the stallion shows no interest in breeding, appears to be short in free running stallions.

Feist observed a stallion copulate twice with the same mare within 7 minutes.

 Tyler observed a New Forest stallion copulate with two mares, three times each, in a 2-hour period.

 Kownacki and co-workers observed a stallion copulate three times with the same mare within 1 hour, with ejaculation apparent for two of the three copulations.

 It is important to note that all available data indicate that among stallions breeding at liberty, whether semi-wild, feral, or pastured domestic stallions, the breeding frequency can be very high compared to what is seen under in-hand breeding. Breeding rates as high as 18 per day have been recorded in several different studies.

I admit I felt very fortunate to have met, befriended Edward, and now he had accepted and taken me as his full-time female-roled sexual partner.

  I was very committed to being for him, performing for him as his female mating partner.

  Because I was 100% female roled for him, I had no need to ejaculate myself thus I seldom would, thus seldom lost interest due to post ejaculation refractory period.

Flehmen response

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All I really know was the summer of 1975 was monumental and wonderful.

   It was monumental from the context that I knew I wanted to be like a girl sexually, and though was nervous, and I had not yet tried taking Edward's penis up inside my bottom so he could mimic breeding me, I was thinking about it and wanting him to breeding me like I was his "surrogate jenny donkey ".

  It was wonderful in that he and I were so perfectly sexually compatible, we both wanted to have sex all the time it seemed.

Fall of 1975

School starts,

   I'm going to junior high now, whole new school with many new students, a big difference is gym class, we have to take showers and in a big open shower type setting, I found this awkward due to fact that I was sexually attracted to males.

And it turned out there was a sexy black guy in my gym class, and of course ,which that had a very large penis, and which I couldn't helped but being turned on by him and I would often catch myself staring at it as he showered. Then one day he noticed me staring at his penis, I guess because the way I quickly turned my face away it was obvious to him that I was looking at it.

To my embarrassment as I sat on bench dressing he walk over to me, bent over and whispered in my ear " you can suck it if you like ", then walked away. I knew I was turned on by him telling me that, yet let the thought go.

He persisted on asking me everyday that week by walking up next to me in hallway as we headed for our next class, saying to me things like ; " I can tell you like to suck cock ", " I know you'll love my cock in your mouth " , my reply always being " I can't " that would then lead him to ask me " Why ", until finally one day I said " I can't because I have a boyfriend " , so then I lead him to ask me " so you do like to suck cock ? ", my reply was " yes ! ",,,to make a long story short, the next day after school I met him at place in the woods not far from my house, and I performed fellatio on him, and allowed him to ejaculate in my mouth.

The following week I performed fellatio on him each day after school, at the end of the week he told me he had friend that would like to meet me, and maybe I suck his cock as well, I told him it would be ok, yet I couldn't promise I would until I'd met him.

In gym class my new boyfriend asked if I could meet him and his friend in the woods a 7pm, I said " yes".

So at 7pm sharp I was there, they were waiting, after quick introduction to his friend whom I found to be sexy black male about 16-17 years old by my guess, I dropped to my knees in front of him as he pulled his pants revealing a enormous un-cut cock ! . I soon was sucking and stroking him eagerly, my boyfriend got his cock out so I could suck and stroke him as well, it wasn't long until this older friend was ejaculating in my mouth, and soon my boyfriend followed suit.

The rest of the week I performed for them each night, til Wenesday then that night they asked if I really wanted to feel like a girl and start taking their cocks up inside my bottom, my reply was a eager " Yes ". 

In conversation I'd already explained to them that I felt like I should of be born a girl, that I had always felt so feminine, and now that I'd changed due to puberty, I definitely knew I wanted to be treated sexually just like a real girl or a least the best I could.

My now 2nd boyfriend explained to me that I had to clean and prepare my bottom, he told me get me a big long dildo to use, and he bring it with him tomorrow night , the explain the process and if all went well, if I thought I was ready, maybe Friday they could both penetrate my bottom and turn it into ;

    "my new femboy pussy" .


I was so excited by the thought of them teaching me how to take cock up inside me, I been wanting to truly be treated like that for months, I wanted so much for Edward to be able to do that to me.

Thursday after school we all met in the woods and as he said he would , my older boyfriend had a brown paper grocery bag and in it was a 2 foot long double ended dildo, a douche bulb and small tub of Vaseline.

He then explained to me , first lube my bottom with Vaseline, with douche bulb full of veg.oil insert it up inside my bottom and inject a big squirt of veg. oil, then hold the oil in as I slowly pushed the dildo up inside myself as far as possible, then pull it out, wash the dildo off with running water, repeat, and repeat until the dildo comes out completely clean. Once clean lube the dildo with Vaseline, inject a large amount of oil up inside myself , he explained that most likely at about 8-10 inches the dildo will want to stop, just push harder, then suddenly the dildo will pop into sigmoid and slide deep up in me, if lucky all 2 feet of dildo. I was really excited by the thought of being able to get all that dildo up in me, because Edward was about 20 inches long when he was fully erect, that mean't he be able to start breeding me like he would a jenny donkey. 

I gave them both a blow-job as normal , then hurried home, eager to try cleaning my bottom, I was soon in the bathroom doing as I was instructed on how to clean and prepare my bottom for sex. After about a half hour of repeating and repeating the process, I could easily take 10 inches up inside me, yet my brother was wanting to use the bathroom so had to stop, and work at it later.

The next day at school my boyfriend asked me if the dildo had worked at getting my bottom ready, I explained I was able to get 10 inches up in my bottom easily, yet got interrupted by my brother and as soon as school was out I'd rush home and started getting my bottom ready, because I really wanted them to both use my " femboy pussy " for sex. 

He told me they'd see me at 7pm , he assured me they'd be gentle, and not to worry, it would work out.

   By 3:30 I was in the bathroom cleaning and preparing my bottom, all went well. I did some chores around house, rode my bike to see Edward, as it was often he wanted a blow-job, so did that, the whole time imagining having his penis in my bottom soon.

By the time I got back home supper was ready, I ate , helped do dishes as it was my turn at that duty, and headed for bathroom, ran the dildo up inside my bottom to check and make sure I was clean, put the douche bulb filled with oil, wash cloth and Vaseline in a paper bag and headed to the woods to meet my boyfriends.

  They showed up a little after me, my older friend told me get my pants off, this was new as he'd never seen me nude before, upon seeing my bottom he said he liked how I looked, and had been looking forward to seeing how my bottom looked all day. Asking me then if I was ready, and still wanted him to treat me like a girl, replying yes, he told to get on my hands a knees and start sucking my other friend as he got the oil injected in my bottom and his own cock lubed with Vaseline.

  It felt so good submitting to him as he lubed then injected my bottom with oil, then feeling his big cock head pushing into me..I was completely in a state of bliss, I had a big black cock in my mouth, and big black cock beginning to slide into my bottom.

  Once he had his cock head popped into me, though tight, a wonderful tight, the remaining 10 inches of his cock was completely up in me in seconds, he asked me if he was ok to start thrusting into me, I just cried out " Yes ", I was really in a state of bliss now as he slid in and out of me, after about 5 minutes, he pulled out, wiped his cock clean with wash cloth then stuck it in my mouth to suck awhile so my other friend could take his turn boning me for awhile.

  After about a half hour of them taking turns, and my boyfriend of my age was thrusting in , he suddenly cried out he was cumming at the same time jerking about as he began ejaculating up inside, my older boyfriend then vigorously began jacking his cock off , I opened my mouth wide as I waited for his semen to shoot into it, as had done many times before with Edward. 

  This became my normal routine with them for about a month, then one day at school I was informed by a friend that there was a rumor spreading through school , that stated that I had been seen in the woods getting " butt-fucked " by two black guys.

Next thing I knew students were calling me " gay ", yelling it out in the hallways once they seen me then were out of sight or talking , snickering in class etc. just being plain " mean ", in their great effort to shame me.

Well their shaming worked, traumatized me, I told my boyfriend, he'd already heard the news, and was very upset as well, We decided it best we stop seeing each other, thus that was the end of that relationship with my two boyfriends.

I pretty much went in isolation, just spending as little time as needed at school, most of the friendships I had were over, I just started spending as much time out at the stables, working and being with Edward.

  I even slacked off sexually with Edward, yet still was very determined to soon be taking Edward's penis up inside me, practicing with the 2 foot dildo nearly everyday, then one day while cleaning my bottom, it happened, it popped up into my sigmoid colon, and suddenly all two foot was up inside me !.


 I practiced for a month or so longer using the dildo, until I finally felt that if Edward and I tried copulating, with luck and some praying he'd be able to fully penetrate me.

          Seeing Edward with different jennies

Though rare , occasionally when I'd arrive at the stables to see Edward, there would be a jenny donkey out in the pasture,  from talking to the owner of the stables he informed me that the jenny was brought there to be bred by Edward. This was always exciting to me to observe how Edward behaved, see how he mounted and bred her as well as how she behaved for him.

 I recall I'd be some what jealous of her getting to have Edward breed her, when I so much was wanting him to breed me just as she was getting him to.

                                        jenny postured for breeding

All I can remember clearly from that time ; 

 1. I wanted so badly to win Edward over, so he'd want me as his companion and sexual partner for the rest of our live's, if he were human, " I wanted him as my husband "

 2. I wanted to please him sexual so well, so he'd only need me.

Thus the " Focus of my life " revolved around taking care of Edward, such as planning to buy him, so he'd offically be my donkey, dreaming getting a couple acres of land thus have a place where he and I could live together.

   "So I was very determined to have him successfully start breeding me"

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            Edward becomes Mine sept.1975

 "I knew I had to be with him forever, I knew I'd soon be getting bred by him"

I called the owner of the stables one night, and asked him how much I could buy Edward for, and what the cost to board him at the stables might be ?

He'd known I was very attached to Edward, I explained I'd been very worried for the last few years I'd show up at the stables and he'd not be there.

He made me a deal; if I agreed to take care of cleaning the stables every other day, pay Edward's yearly vet bill, which he told me was usually about 100 dollars, let him take Edward as usually by trailer to breed the jennies, which was 4-5 times a year, he then said if I agreed to those terms , consider Edward officially mine, I agreed !

The "Moment" Edward had his penis completely up inside me, I knew he was all I'd ever want, the emotional and physical intensity was beyond explaining.

                                                           " The Flare in me "

I thought I planned everything, I was finally ready to find out if he'd mount, penetrate my bottom and start breeding me, the weather was very warm for a early October day. I had all day to spend with Edward, so no rush, once I got to the stables I attached his lead and he and I headed down to the spot in the woods where I normally masturbate/suck him. There was a fallen tree there in which I knew I could hang onto, then lean forward on when and if he hopped up and mounted me.

Once we arrived at the spot, I wasted no time, I was so much wanting to find out if he would want me like this, I had myself totally nude from waist down, injecting oil into my bottom as he watched, I wondered what he was thinking as he'd never seen act like this, I remember feeling so submissive as I leaned forward on the fallen tree, then I started wiggling my bottom about in a effort to invite him to mount me.

Looking back at him, he looking at me, he seemed puzzle for a moment then started walking away, yet didn't go far, turned , then I watched as his penis dropped out, and quickly got fully erect as he headed for me, within seconds he was up on my back with his chest and at same time his erect penis tip had perfectly found my bottom's opening and in a brief moment the tip was deep up in my sigmoid colon which took my breath away and at the same time the intense pressure of his penis head flaring shocked me caught me completely off guard, and I now seemed glued to him as he started thrusting, all I could do was hang on tight to and hold myself up on the fallen tree. 

He thrust into me the 4 or 5 times, then went calm, I knew he was ejaculating then, as quickly as he'd entered me, he then pulled out, his swollen flare making a pop as it came out, turning to see the semen dripping from his flare, I instantly was in shock, in total bliss as the realization that he had truly bred me flooded my mind, without thinking I was down under him licking the semen from his flare, then back up wrapping my arms around his neck, squeezing and hugging him as tightly as I could, I was beyond happy, I also knew at that moment I wanted nothing but to be his partner forever.


To this day I don't think it would of been possible to take Edward's long penis fully up inside my bottom if my boyfriend had not instructed me on how to clean and prepare my bottom using the 2 foot dildo, injecting the oil into my bottom in a enema fashion repeatedly until I was fully cleaned, lubed and loosened up.

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I would say that the most important reason I desire to have my penis removed and be replaced by a female looking " Vulva" is to express, show and prove that I have no desire to sexually perform like a man.


                                  " My Duty and Role "


I was solely dedicated to Edward as his companion and female-roled breeding partner, thus for 21 years  preparing my bottom was a very important aspect of my daily life, so I could perform for him as best I could in the receptive female-role.

As everyday or 24/7 once we were living together, I wanted to be ready to perform for him as often as he wished, somedays not at all, while others days it might be 5 to 15 times.

By the time I 20 years old I was able to find a old run down farm house on 2 acres, it had a equally 30x30 shed right near backdoor which I soon attached with a enclosed walk way. The shed I turned into Edward's stable/room, I made a patio like area where I could wash him, and our breeding spot,I insulated it, put a butler door in it so he could go in and out as he wished, screened openings all around, yet with shutters so we could heat his stable in winter.

                                   "Dream house I wanted to build for Edward and I "

Once we were living together my duty was to be ready and prepared to get bred 24/7, anytime , Edward slept standing up, thus night and day mean't nothing to him, he might start braying at 2 am, and I go check on him, he was lonely, or horny usually. I'd clean and lube my bottom, and get posed for him in the usual spot in the stable, then he start breeding me , maybe 2 or 3 times in a hour before I could get back to bed.

I soon had a sleeping cot out on patio so I could be in his sight all night, then soon had the walkway from shed/stable to house a ramp ,the another butler's door so he could come in the house, usually he slept standing next to me as I slept, what he did then I not sure, yet very often when I awoke he'd be within my sight.

Once we lived together our breeding frequency naturally increased to point I could hardly handle, I often didn't want to got to work many days when he seemed very interested in breeding me continuously all day.

Like this study notes ; It is important to note that all available data indicate that among stallions breeding at liberty, whether semi-wild, feral, or pastured domestic stallions, the breeding frequency can be very high compared to what is seen under in-hand breeding. Breeding rates as high as 18 per day have been recorded in several different studies. " 

Also by the time we were living together,

we'd already been breeding together for 7 years thus Edward knew his role well, as did I .

And in our sexual relationship he was the Alpha and I was his submissive, to a degree it was some what clinical in that we had a normal routine and he some what expected me to follow it.

For example when I got home from work, the first thing I must do was greet him, spend some time with him , then go get my bottom cleaned and prepared for him, then go out to patio / breeding spot in stable then offer him my bottom 99% of the time he'd mount and breed me within 5 minutes. After that it was up to him, if he was in the mood, after we both ate our supper he'd let me know if he wanted to breed me again and often he'd breed me quite a few times before I had to simply get a shower and get some sleep.

  By this time , like the jack above, he was staying on me longer, keeping his penis up in me so he was completely done ejaculating, why the change I not sure, maybe more experienced, he felt safer or maybe just older, I sure liked it though.

Because Edwards clock wasn't based on pm/am if it was 3 am for example he might awake me for some reason, which would lead to us being awake, next thing I knew he wanted to breed me, thus we'd breed, and we might breed repeatedly until 6 am, or until I had to go to work.

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Once he started breeding me just as he normally would a jenny (female donkey), it became seemingly just as though that was what I was to him. I think by offering him my bottom, that is posturing like a jenny, flirting with him, he it took it as I was in " heat " and ready for breeding all the time.

I didn't have any idea at the time how often Edward would breed me, nore little information could I find about donkey's at the library and the internet didn't exist in 1975.

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Donkey study for mating fregency.jpg

                                  On a day when I could spend the whole day with him dedicated just to breeding,

         Edward bred me much like the above graph shows during may.-nov. , then less frequently dec.-may



                     He might on one day breed me quickly 2 or 3 times in a hour, or breed me pull out walk

                                                  around for 5-10 minutes and mount and breed me again 

                     Thus it was very common on a weekend, especially once he and I were living together and the                               weather was nice etc. and we started breeding early in morning , he'd bred me ever half hour til                           lunch thus 6 times maybe. Each time prior to him approaching me to re-mount me I'd try to get                         some oil injected into my bottom, yet because I now had his semen from the prior breedings                                 already up inside my sigmoid colon that acted as a lube, plus I was loosened up, so each following                       breeding got easier.

          Note; it may appear Edward and I are spending breeding alot , yet must be remembered each time he bred me his penis was inside me only 30-40 seconds before he'd be ejaculating.

      I kept track of our breedings after we started living together in a log book- 1982-1996 ;

      april.-oct.was generally about 60-150 times a month. on average 3-5 yet as often as 25 times every 24                    hours.

      nov.-april was generally about 40-60 times a month.

               yearly was ranged from 884-1702 , most one year was, he'd bred me 1702 times.

     The most in a 24 hour period was 25 times,

with 15-20 times per 24 hour period occurring 123 times in the 14 years from 1982-1996,

and for the 14 year period was Edward breed me 21,756 times ,

Most times in a 1 hour period=4 times,.....(it was very common to breed me twice in the first 15 minutes, this happened very frequently on work day nights when I first got cleaned/prepared for him.

   Most times on a work night 6pm to 10pm=8 times

   Most times in a 7 day period=91 times

   Most times in a month = 265 times  (times off work 2 weeks -when with him most of 24 hour period and he       bred me 8-15 times each day/ night ...91 wk. 1 . 81 wk. 2 , 48 wk. 3 , 45 wk. 4 ,) 

1982=1702 ,  1983=1684, 1984=1691, 1985=1676, 1986=1723, 1987=1650, 1988=1688, 1989=1674, 1990=1453,

1991=1465, 1992=1444, 1993=1065, 1994=1004, 1995=953, 1996=884.......adding for the 7 years between 1975-1982 at aprox. 1000 times a year = 7000 plus 21,756 ,

                                        Edward had breed me about 28,756 times in our 21 year relationship. 



                                                              Then as the below study shows



As the following study reports ;

     The refractory period following ejaculation, during which the stallion shows no interest in breeding, appears to be short in free running stallions.

Feist observed a stallion copulate twice with the same mare within 7 minutes.

 Tyler observed a New Forest stallion copulate with two mares, three times each, in a 2-hour period.

 Kownacki and co-workers observed a stallion copulate three times with the same mare within 1 hour, with ejaculation apparent for two of the three copulations.

 It is important to note that all available data indicate that among stallions breeding at liberty, whether semi-wild, feral, or pastured domestic stallions, the breeding frequency can be very high compared to what is seen under in-hand breeding. Breeding rates as high as 18 per day have been recorded in several different studies.

                           Once Edward and I were living together, and I was not at work;

             I was 100% devoted and prepared always for him to " breed me at liberty ",

             though Edward never breed me 18 times in a day, 8-10 times a day was fairly                     common. It was very important I always be ready when he wanted to breed me.

                   - In a way I looked at myself as a "  phantom mare " -

                                            to collect Edward's semen  

When I was with Edward, our routine was I'd bend over and " Offer him " every hour if possible and  generally he'd mount and bred me, thus say on a day that I wasn't working he might bred me from 8 am til 10-12 pm , thus 16 times , The next day he might only breed me 1-2 times.

   Because I have goofy sleep pattern and usually wake up at 2-3am, we'd often bred several times before I went to work, then 4 or 5 times in the evening before bed time. Other then work, my life was devoted to getting bred by Edward.


I most definitely was Edward's surrogate jenny that was contantly in " Heat " for him

            Lack of a refractory period in myself and Edward


Because I didn't get a erection when Edward and I mated, it was very rare for me to ejaculate thus I seldom lost interest in being receptive to being bred by Edward, and he showed no sign of having a refractory period. My main problem would be my bottom getting sore from being penetrated. Getting bred every hour seemed ideal for both Edward and I.

  My pleasure came from Edward psychologically emasculating me


                              impregnating me with his semen

jacking off1.gif

Just knowing Edward had impregnated me with;

his living sperm " deeply femininizing " and " fully psychologically emasculating " me complete/ total pleasure , I had no need to ejaculate.

   I know by the time I was 17 or 18 I was so psychologically emasculated, I seriously started to wish and desire to have my penis removed so I could at least have a female like vagina / vulva.


 Manual stimulation (masturbating)


A stallion may get so used to this method of collection that he may never need to mount a mare or dummy again, regardless of whether he recovers, thus reducing the risks and easing the process. Indeed, training a stallion to ejaculate by manual stimulation is reported to take no longer than training for conventional collection using a dummy or teaser mare.

Edward was long used to me masturbating him and taking his semen orally (since age 13), so there was never a need for a dummy or teaser mare like mentioned above, the only real issue was my bottom getting sore from the repeated breeding. Though he started breeding me in spring of 1976, until I was 16 and had grown much taller I was not able to get breed on a hourly basis.(5-15 times a day)


 Why was I so much more Attracted to;

     a Male donkey then a human Male ?


I don't think I would of even been able to answer this question unless I'd experienced my relationship with my dog George whom I got as a puppy in 2005, and whom I had to put to sleep in May of this year 2021, due to old age, and his health had declined to the point he could no longer walk. 

The intense emotional bond I had with Edward and George was very similar, the companionship , the unconditional affection, connection, loyality, yet wth Edward I was highly sexually attracted too !, and to have such a thought toward George would be disgusting, and thankfully the idea of having a sexual relationship with George never played in my mind.

I mean George was well endowed most men would be jealous of how well he was hung with a large penis and testes, thus he was " intact " just as Edward.

Then after Edward's death in 1996, again I had to have him put to sleep do to his health and he was unable to walk.

Both George and Edward's death were equally traumatic on me, and something I have never been able to deal with very well.

I have never had a truly loving / companionship type relationship with were I lived with and cared for a human male, with human males that I performed sexually for, our relationships were always like a " sexual date ". I pleasured them to orgasm and we went our separate ways, though I might see a human male partner for sex many times a month, I still had no role in their lives other then to be their " female-roled passive, receptive sex partner.

My value to them, or my need to be valued, have a purpose and simply be needed by another was clearly defined with Edward and George, sure I wanted and needed Edward to have have sex with me for pleasure, yet I truly feel my pleasure was centered on my need to feel " female like ", to affirm my ability to be female like and be valued as female-roled sexual partner.

Not until after Edward's death, then being celibate for nearly two years did I find myself wanting and needing to find a lover, this was 1998 and by this time I had a computer / internet so was able to get on the web.

Once on the " Web " searching; my goal was to find a male donkey similar in size to Edward, this was when I realized that the male donkey for me had to be a male that was " intact " , not gelded, as the great single aspect with Edward was his ability to feminize / emasculate me psychologically by taking his " living sperm " into my body.

 I normally tried to masturbated Edward each morning before work and then first thing after work each day to take his semen/sperm orally, he often ejaculated a large amount such as video above displays. not only did I much prefer Edward's ejaculates to human males in taste, due to the large amount it was more like drinking a watered down thick cream. I also didn't have to use condoms for protection from human sexually transmitted disease.

That said, the ability to be in a 100% monogamous sexual relationship with a male whom could freely ejaculate in my mouth or bottom. I had the ability to have the veterinarian see Edward regularly for his health compared to human males whom I had to take their "word" that they were disease free .

 It was like playing Russian roulette, and my need for " affirmation " of my " being a female-roled feminine / emasculated male " was greatly enhanced by my ability to take semen orally and anally.

In many ways having sex with Edward was very " clinical ", we both had to be prepped prior to each " breeding ", my bottom clean and well lubed, Edward's penis washed so no debris could scratch insides of my bottom/colon.

After Edward's death in 1996 not until 1998 did I even consider finding a new sexual partner, thus was celibate during that period of time.

Needing some form of social activity, then seeing want ad in in a local Arts publication for " Nude Artist's Models needed ", I responded to the ad and soon was modeling for many art life-drawing classes through out the nearby large city area.

I soon realized that this helped with expressing my femininity, and though I had no intention of finding or meeting a man for my new sexual partner, Due to access to internet at that time I was using that method to locate / search for a jack donkey similar in size to Edward at the time, however just by chance I met a sexy black college student from one of my classes, after he and I had talked a few times, he asked if I'd be interested in going and having a drink after class one night, to make a long story short, we went to a bar, after a few drinks the talking turned to sex, he was interested in my orientation , I told him I was a femboy type, 100% bottom, once he heard me say that, he asked if I like to give him blow-job out in the car, thats what we did.

After that evening he started having me give him 2 or 3 blow-jobs a week routinely, after a few weeks I was begging him to start using my bottom and after much convincing, especially in regards to keeping my bottom squeaky clean, he finally gave in and started taking me anally.

So I got side tracked, and it did feel so good to have a penis up inside me again after nearly two years without.

And just as when I was 13 and with my two boyfriends, I became my new boyfriend's " femboy slut " to use for sex when he wanted.

                In my search;

for a new donkey lover / companion ........"size" really mattered

below video

As much as the full size stallion turns me on, after being with Edward for so long I very much know that isn't possible, even prior to this stallion flaring his penis is far to large for a human to take anally, However I'd likely take his semen orally if I was in the scenario of the below video.


I came close to purchasing this stallion, yet after seeing his penis flared, I knew he was much to large and powerful to allow him to breed me.

at farm2.jpg

A post on zoosexuality I found the other day that I identify with due to fact that the only partner/lover I truly am attracted to or would , could mate with  is to is a male donkey similar to Edward whom had the ability to take me as his " full-time breeding female-roled partner " ;


I am "zoosexual"
as I've seen many debates on "zoosexuality" and "bestaility" i've classified the two as the following.

Zoosexual- a similar romantic, physical, and mental attraction one would have for someone in their own species. viewing other species as sexually attractive, and being sexually active in the relationship in a non harmful manor.

Bestialty- the use of another species only for sexual pleasure with no interest to obtain any other form of relationship. controlling, and forcing another species into a sexual encounter
for ones sexual pleasure.

those are both just quick off the top of my head definitions.

i think many people label zoosexuality, bestiality because they are very ignorant to the subject matter.

The following is a writing I came across that can relate to even though Edward is a donkey many similarities. 

" How to receive sex from male horses "                                                                                                                               by Caikgoch

I myself wouldn't even attempt having a fully size stallion breed me, and being only with Edward I don't have any other experience then with him.

This guide is completely inadequate to prepare anyone for life with a horse. It only gives tips and an overview of the possibilities. If you haven't realized it yet, commitment to a horse is a life decision. You won't be ready to start until you are through with school and able to acquire the land and facilities horses require, say mid twenties at the earliest. Horses live upwards of forty years. That means you will be retiring about the same time the horse does. Your horses' offspring could easily outlive you.

Throughout that forty years your horse will expect to spend time with you every single day. Being separated from the herd is frequently a fatal experience for horses so they don't like it for themselves or for any member of their family. You will be obligated to greet them first thing every morning, immediately upon arriving from work or any other absence, and last thing every evening.

Please believe me when I say that horses are the most accurate and reliable timekeepers on the planet. If you are late with dinner, you *will* hear about it.

They have to tolerate the weather so you do too.

You will have to learn their language and ways, buy expensive tools like a forty six thousand dollar tractor, forgo opportunities that require travel, just generally shape your life (sometimes even your body) to suit their needs.



Horses are even less like humans than dogs. They are, as a species, born to be someone else's dinner and this shapes most of their instincts and reflexes. You are a predator and therefore an enemy from their point of view. To get from enemy to potential sex partner will usually take some time and may not ever happen for some horses. Because of the harsh realities of life as a food source, sex among horses is quick and to the point. Even if no one makes it to orgasm, they will back off and look around in under a minute.

On the plus side a stallion is born to breed a number of mares in a relatively short time. Horses should breed in the spring after the end of freezing weather and before bugs get heavy. With an eleven month gestation the foal will be born about a year after the current foal leaving all summer and fall for mare to eat for three. This means that the stallion will have a very strong libido and little or no use for it most of the year so once you become a sex object for him you will spend more time talking him out of sex than into it.

A small horse is much safer and easier to keep than a drafter but remember that "small" is a very relative term around horses. Technically most horses weighing under half a ton are either ponies or minis. Only the smallest of minis will weigh less than you and even they will be faster and stronger than you.


So you absolutely must have a clear understanding of your horse's behavior and he must have a clear understanding of yours. He may be extremely sorry after he accidentally kills you but you will just be dead.

It can take years to prepare both of you for sex. The larger the horse, the longer it will take to prepare yourself and the more you must prepare him. With a mini you can take some shortcuts like standing between him and a mare in heat but with a full size stallion that will get you ground to paste. If you want to allow him to penetrate you, you must work your way up to far beyond the human norm. Even if you choose one of the alternatives to penetration, you must have a good enough relationship with him to disregard every safety procedure in the manual and trust him to take care of you.

For the best possible results you should start with your horse as soon as practical after his birth. The procedure is called "imprinting" and will enable him to fully relate to you as though you were one of his own species. It is not necessary that you personally imprint the colt but if no one does you will have to assume the mannerisms of a horse for him to relate to you and much more time must be spent teaching him about human fragility. At the very least he must be comfortable enough with humans in general and you in particular to relax in your presence, otherwise you will never see his penis.

The amount of time necessary to prepare the horse dictates that you must own the horse and a secure facility for him. Facilities for stallions are NOT the same as for other horses. By the time you are knowledgeable enough to handle a stallion, you know what is needed and why. Don't even think about it until you have that knowledge and the resources to implement it.

The Horse:

Horses are masters of unspoken communication. If you want to have a relationship as intimate as sex with a horse you must become very proficient in their way of communication. Not only will you need to know how and when to ask for sex, you must know how to reply to his wishes and how to tell him "yes" or "no". If you send an excited thirteen hundred lb stallion mixed signals, he may make some decisions for you. He also needs to know your limitations. Without a detailed understanding of the ways and fragility of humans he will treat you like a thousand lb mare and be very surprised when you come apart suddenly.

Horses have very good detailed memories but they don't work just like yours. Some things will have to be taught separately for left and right sides. If he likes what you are doing, it will become a right in short order. If he does not, you have no way at all to force him. So take your time and be sure that he enjoys himself. Social grooming is always a good idea.

Horses are herd animals first and foremost. In order for a horse to eat, drink, or rest someone must keep watch or they may fall victim to a predator. The herd is a social group of horses that take turns doing this for each other. Without a herd the horse may not be able to relax properly and just like you will become irrational after long periods of no rest. A band is a family group of horses consisting of a stallion with his mares and offspring. The more you can share in the daily life of the herd, the easier it will be for him to accept you as one of his kind and eventually into his band.

One of the adaptations of the horse to this way of living is that they are able to walk and follow the herd within minutes of being born. This is one of the main reasons for the eleven month gestation period. The foal typically weighs one tenth of his mother's weight and is half of her height at birth. This is why mares have a huge butt (pelvis) and vagina. It is necessary for the mare's health that her vagina run at least somewhat downhill from her cervix to the outside world. When a mare doesn't, she is called "tilted" and subject to repeated infection from retained urine and debris.

The Stallion's Equipment:

The stallion has some matching adaptations. First, his penis is long enough to be certain of reaching her cervix. Depending on the overall size of the horse, that could be anything from just over a foot (30 cm) to more than a yard (meter). Because mini horses are something of a mutation don't be surprised to find one with a penis the same size as one of his larger ancestors.

In order to keep all this penis safe from thorns and avoid beating himself while running, he has a retractor muscle running the length of it and stores it inside his belly when he doesn't need it. His skin is attached to the erectile tissue underneath for about the first third of it behind the glans. The end of that section is clearly marked by his medial ridge (or fold). Above that his skin turns inside out when his penis is retracted forming what is commonly called his "sheath". All of this skin is common skin the same as everywhere else on his body save that it has no fur on it.

He has two separate masses of erectile tissue that both run the length of his penis. The largest is the one you see the most. It fills in the body of his penis when he drops or lowers his penis but isn't extremely rigid. The second is only used in sexual situations and feels like a pointed iron bar running through his penis. By flexing his retractor muscle against this second erectile tissue he can cause his penis to curve up or down as an aid to finding his target.

Second, his glans can expand very rapidly when he orgasms to prevent the sperm from running back out of the mare's vagina and being wasted. This is called his "flare". Again, depending on the horse, his flare can be any size from twice the diameter of his shaft to large as a melon. Some flares are soft and others are rock hard. His flare will have a roughly mushroom shape with a hollow pocket in the front of it containing his urethra and sometimes a hard kernel of debris called "the bean". His glans is very sensitive to pressure, temperature, and texture enabling him to find and center himself within the mare's vagina.

Third, he is sensitive to temperature and pressure on the shaft of his penis particularly in the region of his medial ridge. When the mare "winks" she is rubbing her clitoris back and forth against his shaft in this area signaling to him that his penis is deep enough in the mare to ejaculate without wasting sperm.

Another interesting but poorly understood trait of stallions is their ability to withdraw their testicles into their body. When a stallion is fully excited and mounting his mate, his testicles will disappear into his body, possibly to protect them from a kick by a reluctant mare. For our purposes it is an sure sign of full sexual excitement.

Your Equipment:

First, you will need some lube. In fact, you will need buckets of lube. J-lube is the most popular brand because it is available as a concentrate and can be mixed to suit. Any water based lube will work and the best way to buy any of them is from a veterinary supply like eNasco.

Then you will have to decide how you want to be serviced. If you want to use an AV, you will have to buy one and once again eNasco is usually the best source. For thigh service all you need is a little well placed flab. But if you decide to go all the way (for natural service) there is a lot of work in front of you.

Unless you are *extremely* experienced or standing for a very mini mini, you will need some graduated toys to stretch yourself to his size. Whether you take him vaginally or anally, you must be sure that you can accommodate his fully flared size. As he orgasms his flare will expand with enough force to easily rupture your tissue.

A toy with a static size will NOT be suitable for deep penetration training and I highly recommend that anyone taking a horse anally train for deep penetration. It is easy to stretch your rectum large enough for all but the biggest drafters and one of the advantages of large horses is that they start too large to make it through your pelvis. Rectal only is what you see most men in vids doing but is not what the horse really wants. Like most males he wants *all* of his penis buried in his mare and will try to find a way to achieve exactly that. You need a toy that can expand after it passes your pelvis because that is exactly what he is going to do some day. Not being prepared for this situation is what causes the majority of injuries and death.


Whatever he is going to fuck must be completely ready before you approach him. He will be aroused, active, either disappointed or satisfied, and walk off in minutes. You can use an AV, the fleshy part of your thighs, your anus, or your vagina to satisfy him but whichever it is, it must be clean, relaxed, and well lubed. Mares are soft, loose, and *VERY* wet going in. He will expect you to be the same.

If you are going the anal route, enema and enema again. He is going to stretch you and pump you full of lube. If there is any debris within you, it will come out. If something goes wrong, being clean can be a lifesaver.

Horses have very sensitive noses so it is a good idea to not have any scent on you that might offend him. Many "deodorants" and colognes will kill the mood. I have noticed that horses like the smell of menthol (like Halls cough drops).

After you have dressed and prepared, call him to the gate or fence. Let him sniff and lick you through the fence while you wave your butt at him. Just watch how the mares do it. You will know if you are doing it right when he gets a stiffy. He will "talk" to you with a particular kind of nicker. Kicking and screaming is permitted.

The Act:

It's all about timing. A lot of things must happen in sequence and without interruption or you just have to start over again from the beginning. Most stallions will enjoy you playing with their penis as long as you don't get too rough with it but getting one to complete is much trickier.

You will have to engage in foreplay by posturing for him and letting him sniff and nibble you or you will have to provide him with someone else (like a mare) for inspiration. He will need to mount his target but that does not necessarily mean taking his weight. The key element seems to be centering himself over his target so that his penis is in a direct line with whatever is being used for a vulva in this session.

He will probe with a soft headed penis until he feels soft slickness (no fur and no anus). When he feels himself slipping into warm and wet, he will thrust / walk in as much penis as as will fit using that "iron rod".

If you are going the anal route, when his penis is in a line above your spine it can pass easily through your pelvic opening and up your colon. When he flares on the other side of a male pelvis, he isn't coming out until his flare goes down. Be very sure you have a calm horse before you get in this situation. If he spooks, you are going with him.


Once he has penetrated you, the AV, or what ever is being offered as his target he will continue to thrust until he feels something around his shaft at or behind his medial ridge. If you are not deep enough to allow this, you will need to reach around and provide some manual stimulation. Most stallions will eventually ejaculate anyway but he may do some damage if he expects a mare sized vagina and you fail to provide one.

The feeling of muscular contractions around his shaft as you orgasm is what he lives for. When he feels the stimulation on his shaft (or sometimes earlier if he is excited enough) his glans will flare. The feeling of something stretching around his glans is the primary trigger for his orgasm. Pressure against the front of his flared glans is also helpful with some stallions.

If his glans is inside of you there isn't much you can do but enjoy the ride. If you took him between you legs or through an AV, you can grab his glans and hold it against your belly. Or you can put a plastic bag or condom over it before it expands.

You want to pleasure him as much as possible because the better it feels, the longer he will stay on / in you. If you are doing it just right he may go limp briefly on your back. Expect anywhere from three to nine pumps in his ejaculation. Ideally he will go soft before he tries to pull out (this is why you want him to stay longer) but don't take that as a given. Some equines like donkeys will always pull out flared but it works for them because they have a more slender penis and flare.


Horses have "PC blues" just like humans but don't expect them to last near as long. Nor should you assume that just because he had a full ejaculation he is done. Most stallions like to keep their mare around for a while and may mount and breed several times in secession before taking a break to eat or sleep. Teasing him as he herds you about makes for high intensity orgasms for both parties. (Edward would often breed me 2-3 times in a hour or so then take a break)

If you went the penetration route try to retain as much of his ejaculate as you can. There is no better lubricant on the planet. Do not be surprised if you feel a strong need to urinate. He can put a lot of direct pressure on your bladder. Squatting and pissing is a sign of a properly serviced mare so don't hesitate do it as soon as he steps back. If he really loves you, he will cover your piss with his own. Consider that an official declaration of marriage in horse language.

Life with a Stallion:

Long term life with a stallion that is covering you regularly can be interesting. On the upside, it is normal for the alpha mare to run the day to day activities of the band and he will happily fit right into your plan. But for it work he must acknowledge you as his physical equal and that can be demanding. If you ever let him take sex against your will, he can beat you, out you, and otherwise destroy you. This is why sex with a full sized stallion is *NOT* for beginners or horse newbies. Read around the forums a bit and you will find stories from people that have become submissive to a large dog. Now imagine that "dog" being a twelve hundred lb Pit Bull. Once he is in charge, it will be incredibly difficult to regain control and will probably result in at least one death.

On the other hand, as long as you have control and his full co-operation there is no better body guard. A full sized stallion is completely capable of taking on any predator on the planet and will do so to protect his mares.

If you teach him that he can "bring you into heat" by being affectionate and courting you, he will use his talents to seduce you. Tease him back for a while and you will find yourself excited enough for a major orgasm fifteen seconds into the act.


Horses are living beings and have their own wants and desires. Adjust your expectations to something he can live with. You have forty years to work him around to your way of thinking so take your time.

Wash his penis frequently with plain warm (105 to 110 F) water and soft cloth. Give a little extra attention to his glans and let him thrust a little. He will associate you with sexual stimulation and this is a good first step towards intercourse.

Expect for him to need an in heat mare for inspiration the first few times he covers you. Once he knows how to recognize that you are available for sex, this won't be a problem but making the association against everything that he has been taught up to that point is tough.

Wear something thick and tough over your back and neck. Stallions have a need to bite to hold on and you simply aren't tough enough to take it.

Steel toed shoes can save a lot of pain. In the excitement of sex you will be stepped on.

Consider a helmet also. Even after you teach him to mount without flailing hooves there is still a very large head with rock hard jaws waving around right by your ear.


If you hang out with excited critters that weigh many times more than you do, sooner or later there will be a misstep and you will get hurt.

DO NOT assume that what you see when he masturbates has any relationship at all to what will happen when he orgasms. A stallion can pop a flare many times the diameter of his shaft. Prepare for twice what you expect.

You have to be more than just careful around the str8s. Not only will he out you, if he feels like someone is threatening you, he may kill them. Stallions are not real big on fore-thought but they are born to protect their mares.

You will not spend a lot of time on human social events. Not only will you be forced to live far from urban centers to find enough land for your lover but you won't have much money left over anyway.

Nor will you travel much. Horse metabolism is based on continuous flow so you have to be there to feed at least twice a day every day. Breaking the rhythm can cause colic (a frequently fatal condition).

This guide is copyright and may be reproduced only in its entirety including attributions.


Edward was about the size of the jack donkey below

" I can't imagine trying to be with a fully size horse or larger donkey "


When Edward was fully erect like the guy below it was all I could handle his entire penis up inside me, I can't imagine trying to be with a fully size horse or larger donkey.


At least for 21 years I was Edward's  " Girl "

I am Edward s girl-op123-1.jpg
I am Edward s girl-op1234567-1-1.jpg
I am Edward s girl-1.jpg
I am Edward s girl-op12.jpg
Edwards girl2-1.jpg

To be continued