My " Ideal " relationship - Terrace -

My " Ideal " relationship would be, being a third member in , with a married heterosexual couple, completely committed to the family as a unit as they are.

"Terrace"(I had never heard the term" berdache",prior to conceiving idea for Terrace) once I had, researched the " idea of berdache ",all the parts fell together. I had been in alcohol rehab aprox. 8 month's and came across the term " Berdache ",,and it fit me like a glove, to be honest until this point, I never thought my sexual orientation had anything to do with my Addiction, yet soon out of nowhere .the idea for Terrace ,flowed into me like a river,every moment after the idea came,for the year in rehab, I wrote non-stop.researched the berdache ways etc.The more I wrote,the better I felt, like I finally found the main reason for my addiction,,the years of denial, then realizing it was this Gender dysphoria thing / cognitive dissonance wrapped up in One, I knew I love having men bone me, I just figured I was some form of homosexual, just more feminine like inside, then I realized " I truly wished to Have to body of a female,along with being in the female role sexually and non-sexually" Once I said that statement to myself, then truly accepted it .

First key element ;  The berdache is considered third-gender, and their mate selection was primarily, a heterosexual male , not another sexually inverted person like themselves.

As soon as I read this was a trait of the berdache, I knew I was on the right track, as I myself have always wanted to be in the female role for a heterosexual male, because of my great desire to be feminine, be sexually treated like I am a female totally. Something a homosexual male can't fulfill for me.

Yet the Dilemma is, finding a heterosexual male whom will take me as a wife. Which I fully understand a heterosexual male needs a female partner / Wife.

Thus my role for him and her would be some what of a best friend.

Because we all greatly care for each other, and they understand my need to be in female-role, in a altruistical way on both their's part I am allowed to perform fellatio on the male routinely, as well as get impregnated by him to take his semen up in me anally.

To understanding the setting and context of " Terrace ", imagine a country wooded estate, with a large main house and in rear a great terrace , large three car garage -carriage house-, which is were my residence is.

"The Terrace" (William and Jodi and myself (Michael) are main charactors)..Jodi is a female artist,William is a straight man, medical doctor,myself a carpenter/artist model and truly 100% fem-male, female roled.

 

Jodi and Williams are  monogamous to each other ( sleep together, act as normal heterosexual couple )

William and Michael are  monogamous to each other, (Michael being fully in female role )

Jodi and Michael have 100% platonic love relationship (non-sexual )

                                      How Michael and William first meet Jodi ;

 

 

( Michael and William have been life long friends)

Michael has been modeling for Jodi for many months  and knows Michael is in the "berdache type role" female-roled-male sexually with William, whom is a Straight heterosexual black male .Altruistically, William allows Michael to perform fellatio on himself, as well as routinely penetrating Michael anally and ejaculating in him.

  In my case, Idea of for Terrace ;  One Lady, One Heterosexual Man, and a Homosexual transgender /Female-roled male(myself)

                                                          ♥  My role being sexual, yet non-romantic with William who is heterosexual male

                                                          ♥ William's and Jodi 's roles are sexual / Romantic with each other 

                                                          Jodi and myself's relationship is Platonic love / non-sexual / non-romantic

My Role would be similar to a "Au pair "

 Au pair / wikipedia

 

Au pair (/oʊˈpɛər/; plural: au pairs) is a helper from a foreign country working for, and living as part of, a host family. Typically, au pairs take on a share of the family's responsibility for childcare as well as some housework, and receive a monetary allowance for personal use. Au pair arrangements are subject to government restrictions which specify an age range usually from mid-late teens to mid to late twenties; some countries explicitly limit the arrangement to females.

Arrangements differ between Europe, where the concept originated, and North America. In Europe, au pairs are only supposed to work part-time, and they often also study part-time, generally focusing on the language of the host country. In the United States, they may provide full-time childcare. In 1969, the European Agreement on Au Pair Placement was signed, and it came into force in 1971. Au pair companies in the United States have significant non-refundable fees once the au pair arrives in the country. The contract does not guarantee childcare, despite many families' reliance on the program.

Unlike many other types of domestic assistants, the au pair is considered a part of the host family and not merely an employee. In some countries the au pair wears a uniform, but more commonly the au pair only follows the host family's dress code and wears attire appropriate for the work description, typically including a protective apron.

One thing that thinking about Terrace does for me, is it greatly helps Alleviate my obsession on getting the surgery to have my penis removed and replaced with a female looking vulva. At least the aspect of finding, keeping a single heterosexual male whom would take me as his partner in the wife role.                William has known all our lives I am female roled, and is such a loving friend,

     Altruistically he provides me with a safe sexual way to affirm ;                                       - my sexual identity -

         As I do believe a relationship between three people as this could             really take place, given the proper cultivating, and individuals

I very much agree with Rod in above video, In that I am constantly ready,wanting to please a boyfriend, even if I myself has ejaculated.  As well as a boyfriend is giving me the much needed "Affirmation " of being feminine, the more he can make me feel feminine, thus by him being able to penetrate my bottom, and ejaculate up in my body is so " Wonderful ! "

 The Need for Platonic relationships with females

 

Scenario


                                                  Imagine your a Male(Me) with a family,  female partner(Jodi) and a child

                                                                Living some where in North America Savanna

                                                          You's live partly by hunting,partly by growing maze(corn)

                                                   You the Male have been out hunting, upon returning to your family,

                                                           eager to introduce them to a wolf pup that you had found,

                                                        You find your Jodi tending to/caring for a badly injuried male (New).

                                                               As like the Wolf, a New possible member of your pack
                                                                                      has entered your Lives !,
                                                              It takes months for this new male to recover from his injuries
                                                                        Me has to hunt still,now feeding another as well,

                          Hunting Alone is already difficult compared to when Jodi could help with the hunt, before the child was born.

                                             During this Healing time for  New  ,both me and Jodi have become fond of New,

                                  He helps out best he can, shares knowledge,skills and After New is well enough to go on hunt with Me,

                                              me sees New is a very good hunter, and together Me and New can hunt larger animals,

                                                         As the Wolf pup grows, it soon is clear,the Wolf can help protect Jodi and child,

                                                                while Me and New hunt, this is a Good thing ! for the pack.
                                                                              Soon love and empathy grow amongst all,

                                                                Me will often see New from a distance alone masturbating,

                                                          Me knows there must be other females in distant places, yet where ?
                                                                     Me has very much noticed the  coquettishness between  between New and Jodi,

                                                              The Thought of his Jodi and New having sex now enters his mind

 This Thought occurs more and more , cognitive dissonance sets in !

                                                            Me cares for both deeply, Me can't hate, want to harm either, even if ;

                                                                     "New and Jodi had already had sex without his knowing "

                                        Me has only one choice, tell both New and Jodi about these thoughts he has been having ,

                                                          Upon telling of, the " Idea" Me has been having, to Jodi and New together,
                  
                                                             Jodi and New both  Reluctantly confess, knowing it may harm Me;

                                                              Both admit they are very attracted to each other sexually.

                                             Me sees one choice, see the pack destroyed, or submit to suggesting ;

                                                                     That Jodi and New start mating, endorsing it !

                                              Un-Aware to them all , just introducing Genetic Diversity to Humanity,

                      For myself, obviously being pre-disposed to submitting to another male treat me like a female,

                                                                         when 13 years old,finding I liked it alot !

                                                               Thus once knowing / seeing Jodi and New mating,

                                         Me likes seeing New's erect penis in Jodi, likes watching as New ejaculates in Jodi,

                                    Me and New go out on a hunt together the following day, both under the influence of,

                                     the events that just occurred, both content, upon resting, they sit and talk of this,
                         

                                             New event, Both admit it was very Good, Me reluctantly confesses he liked seeing New's,
  
                                                 Erect penis , then Me goes on to tell New about the sexual experince which he had,

                                           as a youth, how he had routinely sucked another young males penis, and how that male,

                                                                            had routinely impregnated himself anally,

                                                             As they talked ,both New and Me found themselves both growing erect,

                                                                     New asks Me,  " Would you like to suck my penis now ? ",

                                                   Me replies ;  " Yes ! ", and within moments Me is on his knees in front of New,

                                                 Me takes New's penis into his mouth, sucks it tell New ejaculates into Me's mouth.

                                                                               The Roles just changed !, and very much Set !


                                            Me just ultimately submitted, New is the new Alpha Male.


                                             Because the strong bond / love of Jodi,New,Me. the need to keep this pack together,

                                                 Because Me had given great empathy to New, in allowing New to mate with Jodi,

                        New now routinely pleasures Me sexually by allowing Me to perform fellatio on him. and by penetrating Me,
                                                         
                                                                                    anally and ejaculating in Me's bottom.

                               Thus everybody's needs in the pack are met, as Me can no longer mate with Jodi. this is known to all.

                                                                                Thus Me now takes a Female like Role 
                                                          
 
                                                                 
       After in reality experincing 2 long relationships with females , and  being a " Cuckold ". I spent much time wondering " Why ? "

  This best explains how I feel

                                                                                                                                                        - ME, Michael Emery

A scenario; A female friend and I

 
                  Let's say her and I are good friends, we go hiking / camping for few days in wilderness area, she knows full well I am a female-roled male type, the we meet a nice guy on the trail, as we are setting up camp,he is alone, we all talk, he seems like good guy we ask if he wants to camp here with us.
                  He accepts and starts setting up his tent, we chat late into night,
                 My girl-friend (our relationship is platonic), really likes him, and clearly he likes her, the next day he remains with us, and my g/f tells me she'd   really like to have sex with him , when he and I are alone, I tell him or hint to him that she likes him, also I explain,
                    I am a female-role male and that our friendship is platonic,
                     The following night, again he stays, her and him clearly are ready ,desiring each other ,
            he makes a gesture toward kissing her, she kindly halts him,
               and says to him,
"Only if you will fuck Michael to
!  

- Group Cooperation- Diversity-

Concubinage

Concubinage (/kɑːnˈkjuːbaɪnɪdʒ/) is an interpersonal and sexual relationship between a man and a woman in which the couple are not or cannot be married.[1] The inability to marry may be due to multiple factors such as differences in social rank status, an existing marriage, religious or professional prohibitions, or a lack of recognition by appropriate authorities. The woman in such a relationship is referred to as a concubine (/ˈkɒŋkjʊˌbaɪn/). A concubine among polygynyous peoples is a secondary wife (in my case a female-roled male) to sexually please huband, usually of inferior rank

A big dream of mine, is to just go shopping with a female friend dressed as a fem-male like a above for example, and it be not big deal.

      Then it would be a sign,

        society has moved ahead

Mate- Guarding

A good reason a Fem-male like myself needs to recognized by how we dress. So other men don't see us as a threat, the very role of eunuchs.

    Another reason why having  " GRS - (zero-depth vagina), so a couple knows I am transsexual, female-roled .

    Another reason I think the Native American tribes accepted the berdache type male, the others males knew they could leave him alone with the female and not worry, plus the berdache could help the women with tasks which required more strength. Also from dangers, such as strangers, wildlife etc.

   A chaperone is duty of the berdache / fem-male as well.

      " a person who accompanies and looks after another person or            group of people" - lexico.com

On being a Cuckold

and a fully emasculated male

Why do people like to go to monster truck rallies? Why do painters feel the desire to paint? Why do writers feel the need to write?

Most people can't explain why they are passionate about some things. Yet, cuckolds are not perverts, sadomasochists or weirdos. Cuckolds are men who have an inborn need to be cuckolded. Cuckolds can try to live a "normal" life, and have a "normal" sex life, but that's impossible for them.

The "average" guy gets nervous when his girl talks to another man. He fears the worst. Adversely, a cuckold doesn't fear what other men fear, they get off on it. Cuckolds are a rare breed of men who are very understanding of who they are and what they need, but the problem is that to have their need fulfilled there has to be at least two other people, his woman and at least one other man.

Too often people see cuckolding as a fetish, but is wanting to eat a fetish? No. It's a need. True cuckolding is a NEED, not a fetish. What is a fetish? A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc. This is not cuckolding.

If you were to meet a cuckold, they wouldn't 

 be able to tell you why it excites or fulfills them, but they can tell you how it makes them feel. Many cuckolds feel most loved when their woman has sex with other men. Many other cuckolds can only get hard if they think of their woman being with another man. Cuckolding, as a need, is much more prevalent than cuckold fetishes. Many cuckold men are stags, men who just really enjoy seeing their wife have sex with other men. Other cuckolds are into humiliation. The biggest problem with trying to understand cuckolding is that there are so many different styles of cuckolding, as well as different kinds of cuckolds.

For many cuckolds, their biggest fear is being found out. or that they will lose their woman if they bring up cuckolding to her. Society sees cuckolds as weaker men. Yet, the opposite is true. Cuckolds, men who are actually living the lifestyle, are men who are very secure in their relationship, love their woman, want their woman's as well as their needs to be fulfilled, and best of all, are compressive, get their joy from other's joy.

Millions of wives who even after several years of marriage still don't understand their husband's compressiveness. Cuckolds often feel guilty for having such a need. And society doesn't help. You would think that men who get to have sex with other men's wives would respect the hell out of the cuckold who made it possible for them to have sex with the wife, but the opposite is too often true.

Cuckolds, obviously, see things differently than most people do. And the world may never truly understand why cuckolds are the way they are. Most cuckolds get sex less often than most other men do. Their wives are very sexual beings, and they love their wives. But, these men get less sex, or at least get less sex, than most men, and they are willing to step aside so that other men can have sex with their wife.

Most wives won't play if their relationship with their husband isn't top notch. Most wives have to feel that their primary relationship is fault free for them to be willing to give themselves to other men. When a couple invites other men into their sex life, the other men are entering a solid relationship built on trust and love. A cuckold knows that his wife having sex with other men is just sex, play. It adds to both their enjoyment and marital fulfillment.

Each cuckold is different. You may learn why one cuckold does what he does, but what about the millions of others who have different reasons? What I have learned over the last years is that cuckolds enjoy seeing other men have sex with their wife.  - quora.com 

 Wanting to be cuckolded, wasn't a plan, the desire simply arose, then when I began wishing my female partner's lover might be able to like on occasion or all the time have me suck his cock as well as fuck me, treat me like a girl, then I knew I was unable to perform properly in the Male - Role for a female.

I do know for myself, I knew I couldn't be a real man for my female partner, even thought I very much cared deeply for them , I knew I wanted and needed to be female-roled, thus thought of Terrace, I could be like a second wife for the Man my then female partner was having sex with.

  For example a female partner of mine whom was routinely having sex with another man, came home after just having sex with him one evening, she told me that he no longer wanted her to have sex with me, thus I no longer could have sex with her.

  I wanted to tell her how I felt, in that " I wondered if I could just be her close friend, and be a fem-male wife  for him" , that was out of the question with her lover. 

 I was in 3 relationships like this, all three times my female partner was soon preferring to have sex with their new lover thus seldom having sex with me.One of the ladies I was with , I asked her, " that I wondered if she could handle seeing me sucking her lover's cock because I would if he would allow, he could even fuck me ". She said she thought I was bi-sexual or something for along time, and said it would be fine seeing me in female-role with him, and thus she soon asked him, yet he wasn't interested.

Yet she was last female I would ever try to be with 1997, for all those years I went through periods of great depression, a constant state of confusion it seemed.

 

 Finally my male friend in 1998 took me as a fem-male, and put me in my female sexual role,treated me like a girl thus fully completely emasculating me,and fully realized I was "Trans" type, Truly wanted GRS surgery to remove my penis,thus be physically emasculated as all desire to even try be with another female was gone, and I needed to be a normal man's fem-male friend/partner, and be as feminine as possible for him.

                   It's very difficult to explain,

                                    yet being female-role for a Man, is so wonderfully right for me

Then a again being a Fem-male, the Men whom had sex with me in most cases technically were cuckolding me, due to fact they seen others besides me in most cases, not that I wished though as in the case with female friends.

It be very good to do this on occasion in a " Terrace" type relationship for the mutual bonding and affirmation aspect. Affirming him as Man,her female and I female roled

Not that I set out for it to be, Jodi and then soon her daughter by William hold the most important Role.

  From a evolutionary perspective, this type relationship is far superior to a simply Male/Female/child type.

  With the female-male, there is a third set of hands as helper.

 Built in baby-sitter for when William and Jodi want to do thing alone, even like a vacation. A baby-sitter whom is equally committed to the childs well being.

  The Advantages are far greater if one can simply imagine !

  No one has to give anything up, such as privacy, in the story "Terrace", my living quarters are in a carriage house in back of main house for example.

From a Human evolutionary perspective.

I think a " male (1) " whom was with a female, yet along comes a Stronger male(2),  male(1) can see his female mate and male(2)are mutually interested in mating. If male (1) can instead of becoming jealous , instead conveys first to his female mate that he is willing to submit to male(2) allow him to emasculate him sexually so he could still be with her and male(2), other wise there would be conflict. Thus she talks to male(2), says she wants no harm, no conflicts, thus convinces male( 2) that it would be very beneficial if the three of them traveled together as a group. Then one evening when the three sit by the fire , she takes male(1) 's and leads him to a position so that he is on his knee in front of male(2), has male(2) stand,she then reachs to male(2)'s penis, quickly he is fully erect, she then leads the penis to male(1)'s mouth, whom quickly begins to fellatio male(2) until he ejaculates .From that point on Male(2) only as sex with her , yet she also makes sure that Male(2) is letting male(1) fellate him as well as fucking male(1) in the bottom.

Thus to save the group as 3, and most likely save the life of male(!),......;

  male(1) becomes a cuckold as well as a female-roled male.

The only way this type relationship could prevail , would be if all three individuals were " Being Cognitively" developed, male(1) was predisposed to being sexually inverted/female sexually roled, thus desire to have a man treat him like a female, my opinion.

And in my own experinces of requesting a female partner cuckold me, I soon learned that I wanted her to accept me as a female-roled male, I wanted her to be with me, take her lover's penis mouth guide it to my mouth, and watch her lover emasculate me pyschological so I could still be with her just in a emasculated / platonic role now, so her and her New lover could be together as a couple,husband and wife, I would be there in friendship role for boy, a kinda female roled Sexual surrogate for him and Au pair for the group, especially  once they had a child .One reason I'd love to have female breasts, I often dream of being a "Wet-Nurse" ( A wet nurse is a woman who breast feeds and cares for another's child-wikipedia)

A point I'm trying to make is ;

 unless a male is at least predisposed to allow having a male sexually treat him female like, thus most likely fully pyschologically emasculating him.

    In my case, once I was fully emasculated, I could no longer be sexually like a man, I love being like a female far to much to ever think of being like a male ever again.

At least in my opinion there are No Gay men in the above scenario, just a Straight female, a Straight male and a trans. female-roled male.

Wish was me,being able to breast feed, just not with hormones that go with it !,

just as the whole hormones issue prevents me from getting a female like vagina !.

If it were not for the hormone issue, I'd most likely have a funtioning female like vagina by now.

  As my primary desire has always been to perform the best I can in the female sexual role for a man.

Embracing my Emasculation

At least for myself, in 1998 when I with great desire/need finally had a male friend start penetrating me anally, I in away was lucky, as the moment he had his penis up inside of me, the feeling was so wonderfully,so right, thus it was the right decision for myself. Yet life changing, for I knew that from that point, I had to be and only wanted to be in the female role for a man.

   Yet it was a evolving process, of how do I express my desire to be feminized, how do I dress for men to show them I wanted to be treated like a female even though I have a penis ? I again was lucky in the actual sexual encounter when with a man, in that once I actually started performing fellatio on him, or the moment I get nude for him so he can butt fuck me, my penis goes limp, even when I was 13 and the guys would fuck me, I clearly remember I get limp.

   So I like alot, for a man to see me limp,see that he is emasculating me, this is a very important issue to me, in that it's a Affirmation ,pyschologically need , and for example so much " crap " on the internet portrays " feminization " as being humiliated called " Forced Feminization ", for myself, it has nothing to do with being forced, humiliated etc.

   Sure I like a man to playfully call me his sissy-femboy, girly-boyfriend etc. as it shows he has accepted me as a female-roled male, is empathetic of my need to feel like a female sexually.

   For example by 2000, when talking to man for the first time in a dating scenario, I tell a man I was fully female roled, to point I wanted the surgery(GRS) so I could have a vagina, the number one reason being that "having a penis doesn't fit my pyschological sexual orientation", and I love to have the ability for a man to penetrate me vaginally, and not have the worry of wondering if I am completely clean enough to allow a man penetrate me anally.

I think I'm like many true females, I wish to look feminine, sometimes erotic for a boyfriend, being like I am, I also want to Not threaten a man's masculinity in anyway,thus the more feminine I can appear to him the better. 

  And again like many females I try different ways of dressing so when actually going to see a man in whatever capacity I am going to sexual pleasure him I want to look as fully emasculated  as possible, I want him to know when I say I want to be like a female, I mean it, I want to give him the best sex I can, so he will keep using me for sex.

   At least from my viewpoint, if I was not able to embrace the fact that I want to be like a female, feel good about, be the best I can being sexually female-roled for a man, I'd would be extremely depressed, and suicidal . I tried suppressing it along time, and not until 1998 , when finally a man took me as his female-roled male friend, and empathetic of my need to be pyschologically emasculated !

 He did it by fucking the man out of me,quite literally, with the help of some of his friends, They literally had to break me like a wild horse, due to fact I was so enculturated into as a heterosexual male, when at age 13 I clearly was sexual inverted and needed to be a man's girly-boyfriend, not a girl's boyfriend.

Conversion therapy,

 is the pseudoscientific practice of trying to change an individual's sexual orientation from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual using psychological, physical, or spiritual interventions. There is no reliable evidence that sexual orientation can be changed and medical institutions warn that conversion therapy practices are ineffective and potentially harmful.

 the Attorney General of the United States stated "while sexual orientation carries no visible badge, a growing scientific consensus accepts that sexual orientation is a characteristic that is immutable"

I don't think society understands the damage it has done and continues to do, in thinking that people just decide to be sexual-inverted.

My idea of Ideal relationship 

William / heterosexual male

Jodi / heterosexual female

Me / Female-roled male

" William's berdache / catamite (female-roled male friend) "

I've pondered the " Idea " of the Terrace type partnership , talked to many Str8 men who were using me for different types of sex as some just had me perform fellatio,some would just have me get face down or doggy style on my knees and fuck me.

  Then there were the young guys(18-25 aprox.), whom often would double team (always were together when using me) ,they also were the ones who would tell their friends about me, which I liked alot, as I could meet alot of young horny studs, whom I knew would always be wanting a blow-job, and many of them shot big loads of cum like young guy below, he lived very near so very often during the course of a week he might everyday have me suck him ,then cum in my mouth so he could watch me swallow his cum as he does below. My point being, the friend below is only one of many young men whom were doing this with me, it was uncommon for me to take a entire day off work and simply give blow-jobs , from 5-10 different guys. " My Tribe " and I was their "berdache"

 (Berdaches frequently are available for sex with both unmarried adolescent boys and married men who occasionally seek out same sex partners. Because of this, female prostitution is not needed. Traditional berdaches were also available as sexual partners during hunts and in war parties. This was yet another reason why they were welcomed on these excursions.)-  Same Sex & Berdaches

Yet other then friend above ,(years 1998 til 2005) whom I could say was very routinely 3 or 4 times a week, yet he never fucked me, were many the other young guys might one day fuck me, next day just want blow-job, or would double team me. Thus by 2000 I had a established " Tribe " of young men, and thus I could get to see at one young un-married guy a day most often, 2 or 3 was very common( I was also seeing older married /single/divorced men as well). The problem here though is the age difference, if I had grown up with these guys, being their " berdache " since puberty and using me for sex as we all grew up(18 age) . Say here in United States, I could of then started performing for men of all ages .

    The guys most interested in Terrace idea, that did talk to their wives about it, and most common response was ...."it's ok if Michael just gives you a " Hand-job " and you ejaculate in his mouth.( like video above) period ! "......., so I would just give them a hand-job, when they'd be ready to cum, I'd get in position  like video most often, then they ejaculate in my mouth so I could swallow it all.

       " From my perspective, having a boyfriend ejaculate in my mouth,then watch as I swallow it all, smiling,telling him how much I love it."

      "I believe this ritual might be the most " intimate " experince the Str8 man and the Berdache male like myself can have."

     "Other then actually being able to take his cum up inside my bottom "

                                        

In my actual writing of " Terrace", William and I grew up together,he is 3 years older ,I had been sucking his penis since 6 years old yet once I puberty he being a Str8 male takes me in a berdache type role and starts penetrating me anally because I so much want him to. By then even though he dates females, because he and I are such good friends, knows I am third-gender type (not gay), he knows I only want to be a Str8 man's girly-boyfriend, am having gender-dysphoria issues, want GRS surgery, so I can have a female like vagina/vulva.

  He fully understands society, knows that it will be very difficult for me to find a Str8 male whom will take me as a full time partner, thus he continues to allow me to suck his cock, as well as fucks me, puts me in the " Female-role ", which I much need, which keeps me safe, as I can simply have sex with him.

                                                     To make a long story short

  I meet Jodi modeling nude for a life drawing class, soon I am modeling privately for her at her home, then soon due to fact she is a widow, living on a large estate all alone, and has a carriage house out back with Terrace ,where I pose for her alot. Soon she offers me the carriage house to live in, as well as her and I soon develop a very close friendship, thus I reveal to her that I am a "female-roled male", explain to her that I am only sexually attracted to Str8 men, so I can be in the female role for them, I explain to her that I have been saving my money for along time, in hopes that I can get the surgery to remove my penis and replace it with a female like / looking vulva.

   This leads Jodi to tell me that I was welcome to have a boyfriend spend the night with me, which leads me to explain to her my relationship with William, yet also telling her that I'd love to see her and William meet, maybe they'd like each other, go on a real date, get married, be a normal couple  with normal romantic relationship and then maybe I could just live with you two's, and maybe you'd let William keep fucking me, thus I'd never have to worry about finding a man.Explained to Jodi, I could just help you out,model for you, work on the estate, as I am a carpenter, modeling is part-time passion, doesn't pay the bills.

                                                                                              &

   The same Dynamics taking place in story would need to occur in similar way, in real life I believe.

 - The wife accepts that her husband will be letting  a " female-roled male " to sexually pleasure him -

       I truly do wish to belong to One Man, be his berdache, his good friend, as well as his female partners good friend, were they both simply allows me to suck and get fucked by him routinely, outside of their normal sexual relationship.

    " Like the hijra, the third gender is in many cultures made up of male assigned at birth individuals who take on a feminine gender or sexual role. In cultures that have not undergone an imposition of Western heteronormativity, they are usually seen as acceptable sexual partners for the "masculine" males as long as these latter always maintain the "active" role." - academicroom.com

I do know, with all the men I've had sex with, I have always made it clear that I want treated as though I am female, I don't want my penis touched, etc. I want to dress in a feminine way for them , I want them to use me for blow-jobs and or fucking my bottom, I am safe, you be too ! . I am not what western society calls " Gay ", I am very feminine psychologially, most likely should of been born " Female " and very much want treated sexually like a female.