My feelings were centered around hoping that she wasn't harmed psychologically, thus she needed to be mature enough in age, I hoped she'd empathize with my inability to be like a real man or I was trying to show I wanted to be like a real man but I couldn't be because I'm psychologically feminine homosexual, I think that is why being cuckolded is so alluring to me, the idea of a female watching as I am performing in the female-role for males is by far the most intensely erotic thing I can imagine.

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The part of the story were exposing self to Elle takes place in my novel "Terrace"

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excerpt from "Terrace"

All Michael wanted now was for the time to pass, he was in a bad state, a state of mind that was consuming him, he called to Cunnington he came running followed by Edward, once to him, he guided them into the stables, then lead Cunnington through the door which lead to the wash area, from there up the ramp that lead up into the house, getting them into the house Michael gave them both a treat as he said to them, " I'm just going run to town a minute". 

 

​Michael then walked out to his rx7 complete nude, It was hot out now, , he didn't dare even touch my cock, there was no need he was hard as a rock. , he just hopped in and started driving toward town. Michael simply was on mission, a mission that could take his mind off Sally, as soon as he got to town he started looking for a drive-up window, he first thought go back to the McDonalds were he'd thought of exposing himself once in the past, but he just drove around to different fast food drive-ups looking for one where I could see there was a older (21 or older) female working.

Michael knew of a Burger King that he'd been to quite few times, it had a high window, so he knew who was working the drive-up window would be able to clearly see his cock, it wasn't far so he headed there, once there he covered his cock as I pulled into parking lot, parked so he could see who was working the drive up.

There was a fairly mature appearing female that was working the drive-up window, it was about 10:30 am, so not real busy, after pondering in his mind a minute, if he should go through the drive-up and expose himself to her, just the thought had him extremely aroused, he decided to do it, as he ponder the idea to be seen by the female at the drive-up, the "idea of being seen by the female as a affirmation of my maleness or was he seeking humiliation? came into his mind". Completely naked, his penis hard as it ever had been, there was no turning back now, he pulled up to the order box, her voice came on, "came I help you?" she said, Michael said, "coffee black please", she replied, "please pull ahead to the window". Michael now mindlessly aroused, couldn't have stopped himself at this point, he pulled up to the window stopped and looked up to her as she looked down into the rx7 at him, he knew she was actually seeing his erect penis, by her shocked reaction that confirmed that she could see his fully erect penis, then by her suddenly having a very serious look on their face, yet she then took his money from his hand for the order, then handed him his change back, as she was looking down into the car handing Michael his change he started ejaculating involuntarily onto his chest then stomach as she watched, from the time he pulled up to her drive-up window until he drove off he never was touching his penis, he so much wanted her to see his full erection and see himself ejaculating. As he never masturbated any time during the time she was actually able to see his erect penis jerking with each squirt of my semen as he ejaculated, she watched the entire time as he ejaculated, then she said, "I'll go get your coffee". then turned and walked in to get it.

Michael then had to wait for her to return with his order, at did any way, he just sat there with his penis fully exposed, yet it had gone limp, his semen running down his chest, as she hands him his coffee, then she says, "good show, thanks, I bet your a femboy who doesn't know how to be a real man, that's ok I liked". Michael couldn't say a word, as he meekly looked away  and slowly drove off feeling so erotically humiliated and yet very emasculated as he drove home.

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About 11 am the phone rang, I answered it then heard Sally say, " hi ",

Michael said, " hi, how are you doing ".

Sally replied, " great, I thought I'd call it's the first chance I've had since getting here and all the guys are down on the dock, working on the pontoon boat ".

Michael quickly piped in saying, " how many guys? ".

Sally giggled, then said, " yeah Greg, Josh and Ben, Josh, Louis, Marcus and Ben were here when Greg and I arrived, Greg told me on the way here there would be a few young studs waiting here for me, they are all young studs, two of them together fucked me double penetration style after I was in the cabin 5 minutes ".

All Michael could say was, " did you like it? ".

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Sally giggled as she said, " I loved it and so did they, they called few of their friends, who will some be arriving on another pontoon, then Greg has a few friends on their way on another pontoon, then we are all going to a island beach where they all are going to gang-bang me for the rest of the night ". 

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Michael was in a frenzy as he asked her, " you had them wear condoms right ?"

She replied, " yes, I wish I didn't have too, but yes , Ben and Josh want to start fucking me together all the time now, Louis and Marcus want to double penetrate me on the pontoon ride out to the island. Greg says by the end of the night I'll likely have a date every night for a month, here comes Greg, I gotta go, I taped it, and will tape it at the beach as well, love you talk tomorrow".

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Michael said, " love you ", as she hung up.

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Michael was going crazy now, Edward wanted to go back out, so I lead him back out to the stables, I thought about offering him my bottom, so he could breed me but it was hot, and I was needing a strong drink so I walked back into the house and made a strong long island ice tea.

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Michael sat on the couch, Cunnington hopped up and laid his long body down, then his head on my lap, I pet him as I flipped through the channels on T.V, nothing good on so I put in a v.h.s movie that I liked. "Lonesome dove", is always worth seeing over and over so I put it in to watch, still my goofy mind kept wandering back to Sally, how was she doing, I so much wished I was there looking over her, making sure she was alright, I could tell Cunnington was missing her a lot too

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Michael simple could stop feeling bad about exposing himself to the young lady at the drive up window, he went out to the kitchen, found a pen and paper, and wrote a note for the young lady, it said, hi my name is Michael "I am so sorry that I exposed myself to you earlier today, I am really a normally a stable person, yet just lately I seem to be under going a sexual identity crisis, in the tune of, "am I heterosexual or homosexual, bi-sexual what?", I needed to say I am sorry, your welcome to call me; 342-6758, sincerely Michael.

Michael then went out and hopped in the rx-7 and headed to the Burger King to see if she might be working.

Once Michael got to the Burger King, he parked and watched the drive-up for her, sure enough she was still there, so he drove over to the ordering station, he recognized her voice, Michael ordered a small coffee, she said, "please pull up to the window", there were no cars in front of him or behind him, as he pulled up to the window, she was smiling, as he stopped, she leaned out and looked down at his body, then looked Michael in the eyes as she said, "darn, was hoping for another show".

Michael meekly said, "I'm sorry then handed her the note, she quickly opened it and read it, then said, as she looked back at him, "is ok if I call you when I get off in about a hour?".

Michael replied, "I'd like that alot".

She said, "my name is Elle, I'll call you in about a hour".

Michael drove off then back home.

Once home, Michael walked Edward and Cunnington down to the highway, checked the mailbox, no mail, so the walked back to the house, Michael figured it had been about 45 minutes since he pulled out of Burger King and now they were back up at the house, so he put Edward and Cunnington out in the paddock. then waited by the phone for Elle to call.

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Elle the female at the Burger King drive-up Michael exposed himself to calls

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Michael had drank about half of his beer when the phone rang, he picked it up and some what meekly said, "hi this is Michael". 

Elle said, "hi Michael this is Elle, I hope this is a good time?"

Michael replied, "yes, I'm so glad you called on time, thanks so much, I've been pacing ever since I exposed myself to you, and I'm happy to see I didn't harm you emotionally, that was very selfish of me".

Elle replies, " let put it behind us, I'm fine, but I am very interested in talking  to you because you are a exhibitionist, and I am working on my PhD in human sexual behavior, my parents own the Burger King, so I work there in the summer sometimes for extra money. My hope with you is to learn more about your life, everything you and I talk about, I assure you is 100% confidential, what you decide to tell me will never be told in away that could ever identify you, I promise.

Michael replies, " I do trust you now, by the way you've presented yourself, yet where to I begin?"

Elle says, "go back to your earliest memories, and start telling me your whole life story, I'm in this for the long haul, if we talk every day for two years that is fine with me".

Michael says, " my earliest real memory is of kindergarden, soon after that my mom and dad getting a divorce out of the blue once I was in first grade, that turned my world upside down, then maybe two months after dad moved out of the house, and strange man shows up one evening at our house to visit with mom".

Michael says, " tell me to stop or interupt me anytime".

Elle replies, "I'm listening, I have no time limit here".

Michael says, " this stranger ends up being mom's new boyfriend, he ended up spending the night, the reason I know this is, because I'd went to bed, and was asleep, then I was awaken by noises coming from mom's bedroom, to understand better, My bedroom was conected to mom's by a doorway, my room had two doors, one opened by the bathroom, our only bathroom, the other door opened directly into mom's room right in front of her bed, anyway after I listened awhile, I got out of bed and carefully opened the door a crack and peeked in, mom nightlight was on so I could see clearly, and there mom was sucking on this man's penis, so I just watched, then after awhile he got her on her hands and knees on the bed, and started thrusting his penis into her".

Elle says, "is that the first time you can recall seeing your mom in sexual type situation?"

Michael replied, "yes, as far as I can recall, yet I can not recall dad ever even living with us at all".

Elle says, " was this the only time you watched your mom and her boyfriend having sex?".

Michael says, "oh no, I watched them every time they awakened me, and that was often, maybe 3 or 4 times a week".

Elle replies, "did this go on for weeks, months, years?".

Michael says, "time wise I say at least a year because when mom's boyfriend first came to the house it was late summer early fall, and my next disinct memory occured in the following early summer, because my friend Kevin was 12 and I was to be 7 in June, and he and I went down to the beaver pond in the woods, it was very hot, so I stripped nude and started swimming about, I remember watching Kevin strip nude, and when I seen his penis it looked the size of mom's boyfriend, at that moment I wanted to suck Kevin's penis like mom sucked her boyfriend's. The urge to suck Kevin's penis overwhelmed me, I swam over to him, and asked him if I could suck his penis, I think I caught him so off guard that he just froze, then I just took it in my mouth and began sucking his penis, all I can remember is that it felt so wonderful having it in my mouth, the feel, taste everything was wonderful, I don't recall how long I sucked on until he began ejaculating into my mouth".

Elle replies, " did you swallow his semen?".

Michael says, "yes, that was one of the wonderful aspect of having his penis in my mouth".

Elle asks, "did you ever suck Kevin's penis after that?".

Michael replies, "yes, I would suck his penis everyday if he and I could find the time and place, sometimes more then once a day if Kevin was in the mood, until I was 10 years old, at which time his father got a job transfer, and Kevin and his mom and dad moved to another state.

Elle says, "where there any other very dramatic/memorible events that happened during this time you can recall?".

Michael says, " I remember getting padded by my first grade teacher, yet not why, yet it was publicly humiliating, that was that teachers method of punishment.In second grade I recall just getting up in class and going home, I was like in a daze, everybody in the school was looking for me, I later learned, after getting home and our baby-sitter was frantic". I remember I started wearing mom's panty hose under my jeans, because one day at school during playground time, I ripped my pants wide open, in the crotch area, and everybody could see I was wearing panty hose. When I was 8 years old mom walked into my bedroom as I was sucking Kevin's penis".

Elle replies, "how did you like it when your mom seen you with Kevin's penis in your mouth?"

I remember mostly being worried how Kevin and mom felt, because mom stood and watched us a few seconds, and without a word slowly closed the door, Kevin quickly had his pants pulled up and was out through the front door, leaving me sitting there completely nude with Kevin's semen all over my face and chest, because he normally ejaculately directly into my mouth and I'd swallow it, but because mom opened the door when he'd was just ready to ejaculate, he turned pulling his penis out of my mouth. Because the bathroom was right outside my other door, I went in there quickly forgetting my clothes, has I was washing Kevin's semen off myself, mom suddenly knocked on the bathroom door asking to talk to me, I opened the door standing there totally nude with a erection, mom then handed me a towel to cover myself, which I did, then she sat on the toliet seat, I sat on the edge of the tub, mom then told me she wasn't mad, but she needed time to think, and she wanted me to call Kevin and see if he'd come over tomorrow after school so the three of us could talk, so I got dressed and called Kevin, told him mom wasn't mad but she wanted to talk about it, just between the three of us, Kevin said he come over then".

Elle smiles and says, "sounds like your mom is a very understanding open minded person".

Michael replies, "yes she was a very wonderful person, my role model for sure."

Elle asks, "How did it go the following day when you, Kevin and your mom talked"

Michael replies," good I think, though she asked me how I even got the idea to suck Kevin's penis, my reply was by watching her suck her boyfriend's penis, which embarrassed her, she wanted to know if Kevin had penetrated my bottom yet, both Kevin and I told her no we hadn't done that yet, but I told her I wanted to some day.

Elle says, "so you feel you were quite sure you wanted to be penetrate by Kevin or other guys at that time?'.

Michael replies, "yes I was certain at that time that I only wanted to be female-roled like mom, that feeling is the only thing that I am very certain of, that feeling has never changed my entire life.

Elle replies, "so you feel your more transsexual like then just simply homosexual?"

Michael replies, "yes, if it were possible I would like to have surgery were my penis is removed so I could have a vulva like a female mainly, I'd love to look like Caroline Cossey, the male to female transsexual who appeared as a female in the James Bond movie, for your eyes only".

Elle says, "I remember hearing about that a few years ago".

Michael says, " after Kevin moved away I started performing fellatio on Cosso our intact male great dane, and mom caught me doing that when I was 10 years old".

Elle replies, "how did she react to that?".

Michael replies, "calmly, to the degree she'd rather I sucked Cosso the guys".

Elle quickly explains that she is just working part-time at the Burger King, and that her parents own it so she kinda paying them back for all their help of getting her through school, and that she is waiting to start a teaching position at the University of Wisconsin, Madison.
I ask her, "what are you going to teach?", her reply is, "I'll be teaching a course on abnormal human sexual behaviour for the first semister".
I reply, "so you know a bit about people like myself I take it?".
Elle replies, "well as much as I have found that has been written, and I've spent quite a bit of time talking to male exhibitionists, yet not exactly like you, that is one that is a feminine homosexual bottom, is that the way you are?, 100% bottom, you never have taken the top role, that is the way my brother is".
I reply, "yes, I've never taken the top role, I'm a very submissive bottom, so I have no desire to top, I actually consider myself third-gender and a wanta be transsexual type".
Elle says, "so you wish you were female?".
I reply, "yes, very much so, if not for the risk and uncertainity of the gender comfirmation surgeries, I do it, get a sex change".
Elle replies, "you clearly got very sexually aroused exposing yourself to me, how did you feel after you climaxed".
I reply, "initially, I was very erotically humiliated, yet still do, like that what I need is to be humiliated by a female, have her tell me something like; "no female would want a sissy boy like you who has been sucking cock and been getting fucked in the ass since he was 13 years old".
Elle giggles and says, "isn't that true though, how many women would want a completely femininized/emasculated sissy boy like you for a lover?".
I reply, "I wouldn't think any would".
Elle replies, "yeah I would think not many, that is for sure, you just got to accept that your a sissy, and all you want for men to treat you like a sissy slutboy, I can accept you that way, and still like you, I love my brother and he is very much like you, only thing I worry about is him get HIV, he is a submissive slut when it comes to serving his top men".
I reply, "yeah, I was a real slut for guys when I was 13 years old, then I got "outed" at school and then publicly humiliated, are you a psychologist?".
Elle replies, "yep, I have a masters degree and I am licensed in here in Iowa to see clients for therapy/counseling, so don't worry this is all confidential, yeah kids can be cruel, but you got to be the way you are and accept that no female is going to want you, if you been getting fucked by guys since you were 13 years old, you'll never be able to please a female the way a real man can, sorry but my opinion".
I reply, "I'm glad your saying that to me, because since after the public humiliation at school in 1975 I've been exclusively been a female receptive partner for my intact male dogs, my jack donkey Edward, Timbo and Henry my two mini ponies".
Elle replies, "wow, now talking to a male who takes the female role with male dogs and equines, I've never talked to male who lets dogs, a donkey and ponies butt fuck himself before, so this is a new experience, you must be so psychologically feminized, I surprised you can even get a erection, how often do they fuck you Michael?".

I reply, "generally each of them do every other day, or they each breed me about 3 times a week, I currently have 3 dogs Pablo, Og and Rufus, so I get bred about 18-20 times a week".
Elle giggles and says, "I'd say your the biggest slutboy I ever heard off, holy cow, I don't think my bottom could ever take it once, especially not a donkey and ponies".
I giggle, then say, "yeah it isn't something you just rush into doing, key is preparing my bottom, making sure I very clean and well lubed when they penetrate me".
Elle replies, "do you suck their cocks as well?".
I reply, "yes, I suck all their cocks routinely and ingest their semen".
Elle says, "so you do you have any interest in being with another human again?".
I reply, "I thought I did, with a female friend just recently, then after performing cunninglingus on her for a few times, which I did well, at least I thing I did, I was able to make her climax, but when I tried penetrating her I was unable to, then it was like after that I just want to have her cuckold me by her having sex with other guy, and maybe the guy could treat me like a girl to kinda thing".
Elle replies, "did she find another guy to do that with?"
I reply, "yes, she did, but I wasn't able to ever watch, he had no interest in that, and he wanted her to not see me anymore, so she is now with him".
Elle says, "what if I found a guy who would do that, would you perform cunninglingus on me while he fucks you?"
I reply, "oh my gosh, yes I certainly would, for me that would be wonderfully emasculating, and I need feminized and emasculated constantly it seems in order, to not get depressed, I'd love to have you watching me getting fucked or sucking your boyfriend's cocks, and watch me perform for my animal partners as well, I'd love to be your submissive femboy and do whatever you tell me to do, I trust you even though we just met, I just feel I can".
Elle replies, "I'd like to have you perform cunninglingus on me right now if your available". 
To make a long story short, Elle came out to the farm, I had Og my Irish wolfhound mount me and thrust into me until he got his penis locked up in me, then Elle sat on the floor in front of me, I then performed cunninglingus on her while Og was locked up in me, I was able to make her climax before Og pulled out of me, or about 15 minutes he was locked.

Elle said, "Michael you sure seem very experienced at performing cunninglingus, you sure are good at it for not doing it often".

I replied, "oh I have done it a lot, I started performing cunninglingus on my Aunt Becky when I was 12 years old".

Elle replied, "did you penetrate her with your penis as well?'.

I replied, yes, routinely until she passed away two years ago, I did the same with mom, she passed away 3 years ago, I still have sex with a large group of Aunt Becky and mom's friends, males and females, I'll explain in detail later".

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                                    (currently editing and Terrace is in rough draft form)

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That's the only time I ever exposed myself close to another person, all other times I made sure no one was ever near me when out doing filming nude in public spots.

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                   I never exposed myself after that, or filmed myself out in public places

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