Being a Sexual Invert (female-roled male)
Sexually my only desire is to be in Female role for a heterosexual male,I have always desired the surgery to
replace my penis with a female like vulva, mainly it seems for purpose of erasing the male appearance the
penis represents, and my desire to be feminine.
" In essense, though don't understand, I've always felt I should be female "
" I've always wanted to be like a female "
Homosexual transsexual(MtoF) attracted to Straight men, and Desire to be in Female role sexually (this is the type transsexual I identify as myself ) see Rod Fleming's site- allabouthsts.com
What ever type one may be; First and Foremost it is a " State of Mind ", whether one has surgery,dresses
like the a female (opposite sex) etc. doesn't matter, they have to be respected for the condition they are in,
and not be judged by it. I am transsexual from standpoint of I wish only to be in " Female Role ", sure I desire to have surgery, not to have a penis, look as female like as possible with a vulva, yet whether or not
it happens is another thing. So in essense Transsexualism is the " desire to be "
" And if the most beautiful female(str8) and I were stranded on a island together, and became great friends,
we would both long for a good man to get washed up on the beach , and take us both sexually " -me
For example, in the past when meeting a new man, and we were planning on having sex, I made it very clear to him, I am not "gay" type, I am transsexual type, as I sexually am female like, just have not had surgeries etc. yet I very much wish I was truly a female,and had a vagina,not a penis. I am 100% female like sexually, only difference you have to penetrate me anally, yet I am very conscious about keeping my "bottom" very clean, and very much love being penetrated.
Metaphorically, I considered myself a Male to Female transsexual because I have for most of my life wanted a female body, and very much have only and always wanted to be in the female sexual role for a heterosexual male (be like a girl friend,wife for a man).
Believe me, being a biological male which has always wanted to be female, has been a very confusing,distressing life.
I very much have always felt I should be female
And I love feeling
Sexual inversion was a nineteenth-century theory of homosexuality best described by the pioneering sexologist Karl Heinrich Ulrichs (1825–1895) as anima muliebris virili corpore incluse, or, a woman's soul confined within a man's body. In the nineteenth century, sexual inversion, homosexuality, and antipathic sexuality were interchangeable terms. The "inversion" in sexual inversion referred to the inverted, or upside-down, quality of a body that did not reflect the "true" essence of its possessor. The truth of the invert was inside rather than on the surface; thus a male invert was "really" a woman, and should be allowed to express a female gender, and a female invert was "really" a man, and should be allowed to dress and live as one.
Inversion also referred to the ways in which such bodies inverted the laws of nature, which supposedly decreed that male bodies should desire female sexual partners instead of male ones, and vice versa. The theory of sexual inversion maintained conventional categories of sexuality and gender and did not allow one to be divided from the other. Inversion meant that a man's homosexual desires, effeminacy, or both did not challenge masculine gender or heterosexual sexual norms; rather, a perfectly normal heterosexual woman with a feminine gender was trapped inside him, yearning to come out.- encyclopedia.com
I personally see myself as a 100% emasculated and psycho-sexually female like, a great desire to be as feminine as possible
This type modern Art represents me well, in that I have always been and want to be a Fem-boy,Fem-male and 100% female sexually roled
I have always desired not to have a penis, and have a female like " vulva "
I have been posing for Art lifedrawing classes since 1998, due to my love for art ,yet Posing is a way to way to express my sexual inversion and extreme feminine nature in a productive way I feel, and has greatly helped me in a psychological way deal with the dilemma of what , I prefer to be seen as ; "A Female roled male "
After years of trying to be in the male sexual role for a female, be a normal male, I found it is very distressing, when in my heart I need to be in the female role for a "normal heterosexual male ". Thus it is very un-fair to any female I tried to, or would try to be with, as a normal male, she needs, not someone like myself who themselves wants to be like a female sexually for a Man.
I can't claim why myself or any male becomes or is a sexual invert (sexually female-roled), yet after comparing both roles, the female-role is completely right for me, only role that I feel good in, want to be, I have no desire to be like a Man sexually.
I don't know how many nights ,upon going to bed, I've wished I'd awake without a penis and look similar to a female, so a man might like having sex with me better, see me much more female like.
I don't desire to be female, pass as female, I only desire to appear feminine, and very sexually receptive for a man in the " Female-Role "
I always wanted my men to refer to me as their " girly- boyfriend " ,a fem-boy or fem-male, I have always tried to explain that I am a " wanna be " transsexual ,in that I don't like having a penis, and with I had vagina so I could have sex better and psychologically I am fully emasculated,in that I have no desire to be like a man sexually.
"Sexually ! "
"Type of Girl I wanted to be and feel like inside"
I grew up watching Jodi Foster, and Marianne of Gilliigan's Island on T.V, I always wanted to be a girl like them, and am Tomboyish, country, just plain down to nature type " girl "
"Jodi Foster was like a role model ,even today"
I just know, I wish I had a female like " vagina " so I could perform sexually in the female role better,yet also know, that isn't a "Reality"
For example; If I seen her in real life, as she is above, I wouldn't be aroused,sexually excited,yet I very much admire her body, and would love to have a body like her's, yet mainly have vulva/vagina as she does.
The symbolically element of Hermaphrodite
As much as I identify with the symbolically element of Hermaphrodite sculptures, I still realize that they don't completely describe my feelings of wanting to be female like in the way of having a " vulva " and not a penis, I very much have felt having breasts symbolically express my " femininity", my desire to be only as a female sexually
I've always wished to perform like a female for a man
" Ideally" for myself , simply just the symbolism of having a vulva and not having a penis reflects that I am completely emasculated and " female-roled " sexually.
I never have had any desire to " Pass as a female " ,wear make-up.wigs,high-heels etc.
My main desire, is to be as feminine as possible for a man.
Perform as well as possible to sexually please him.
Ideally ,if I am to create a Hermaphrodite type sculpture, it would be similar to this above
I've always wanted to have dreamed of having a female like vagina, so I could take a man's penis up inside my body like a real female can, as much as I love taking a man up in me anally, it is demanding to keep my bottom clean and ready for penetration, and then seeing myself with a penis doesn't reflex my sexual role,which is 100% female. Also due to fact some men don't like the idea of anal sex, I had many men let me perform " fellatio " on them, yet refused to penetrate me anally, some expressing the concern that it was too! homosexual like.
As a " "Female-Roled male " my role with/for a man is to " Perform " for him sexual as though I am female.Some what like a " catamite " (In its modern usage, the term catamite refers to a boy as the passive or receiving partner in anal intercourse with a man) In my case, I wish I had a vagina though,so I could perform better in the female roled.
My duty has always been to sexual pleasure men, in return they emasculate me, and I am getting "Cock" which I so much desire.Though I wasn't getting paid money, it was a mutual trade,I was getting sexual attention from many men,(they knew they could have sex with me as often as they liked)and I wanted it constantly and tried to see as many guys a day as I possible could for many years.
I always felt myself to be prostitute like ,as all the men whom I'd see was for sex, they wanted a blow-job,hand-job,or to bone me.
I know if the surgery had been realistic,attainable,practical in 1998, I had it done,so I could look and function sexually like a female, and not have to deal with getting my bottom clean every time I'd get boned.
As well as I have never liked having a penis,in my eyes having a vagina fits me much better due to fact that I have always desired to perform sexual like a girl.
I have always dreamed of a day when I could tell a man that ;" I look male,but I have a vagina like a lady !, would you like to see it and try it out ? "
I tried to surpress my femininity, my desire to be a man's girly-boyfriend , yet I am so highly feminized and emasculated the only role I can be in is the female role.
Like a "berdache" I identify, for example excerpts from "--and we are still here": from berdache to two-spirit people"
About the same time the word appeared in French as bardache... and refers to the passive homosexual partner(FN19) (alternative spellings from Jacobs(FN20) and elsewhere have been inserted in brackets).
The term has also been translated as "kept boy" or "male prostitute."(FN21) The Oxford English Dictionary cross-references "berdache" to "catamite," which is translated as "a boy kept for unnatural purposes." With this etymology, it should come as no surprise that some contemporary Native Americans and First Nations people have come to consider the term berdache derogatory and insulting to the image and identity of gay, lesbian, transgender, and other two-spirit people.
The French term bardache gets transliterated to berdache by later writers who enter it into the anthropological literature. There are also instances of the word being spelled as follows: broadashe, bundosh and bowdash, berdach, berdash, bredache, bredaches, bardash, berdêches, bird-ash, birdashes, bradaje, among others (this list comes largely from Will Roscoe's 1993 compilation "Frontier Terms for Two-Spirits";(FN22) see also Williams,(FN23) Roscoe,(FN24) and contemporary dictionaries). Regardless of its spelling, the word berdache has been used in anthropological writings not to imply that the individuals so labeled were kept boys or male prostitutes, but to refer to what the writers perceived to be transvestitism, homosexuality, hermaphrodism, and transgenderism as institutions viewed positively in Native American and First Nations cultures.(FN25).
On some reservations, feminine boys are used sexually by married men. In studies of male juvenile prostitutes in Seattle, Washington, it is primarily heterosexual adult males who seek out boys for passive anal and oral sex.(FN42) In both Seattle and on reservations, such behavior is negatively sanctioned. It is not glamorous; it is not romantic; it is "sex for survival." These boys (aged nine to seventeen) are berdaches in the literal, original meaning of the word: boys used for sexual purposes. The married "heterosexual" men on reservations who engage in sex with boys(FN43) retain their heterosexual status; they are never considered to be bisexual or homosexual. In some urban gay settings, these men are commonly called "Men who have Sex with Men (MSMs).".
For myself ,for example between 1998-2005 I served a group of men(tribe) sexually anywhere from 20 to 100 men were using me sexually for a blow-job, hand-job or fucking my bottom , thus it wasn't uncommon to get used by 2 - 4 men daily at times.
Alot of the men would tell me that liked to see me because they knew I liked to swallow their sperm, or some times a guy who was very well hung would tell me that I was the only person they'd found who could take his big cock completely up inside themselves, as well as take them bare, and take their ejaculation.
I tried to be available 24/7 at least for performing fellatio on the men, and as often as the wanted, many guys for example I would suck their cocks 4-5 times weekly at times.
Actually if I could of pulled it off, I would of had sex with as many men as possible every day and not worked as a carpenter.
I actually concieved of idea , I called the " Indigo club ", the idea was I meet aprox. 100 married straight men, screened for "std's ", I have a nice place the men could come see me so I could sexually pleasure them. The men's wives must be consenting, are welcome to watch as I perform for their man, the men could only use me sexually by boning me,me sucking their cock or hand job (no touching my penis or showing interest in my penis) This is where me having a functioning vagina would be ideal, as the wives would see that their husbands at least are not interested in me because I have a penis.
" I'd more or less be like a eunuch that is sexually female-roled "
As much as I love having a man's cock up inside my bottom, some times if I can't get myself clean, (fasting is only for sure way , which I'd do on fridays alot so I could get " boned " by as many men as I could over the weekend)
My ultimate fantasy is to have three men's cocks in me at same time and all ejaculating. Omg !
I've had two men in me at same time many times, if I had the surgery, thus had a vagina I would very much love to try three men at once.
I don't see how any one can love having a man bend me over and fuck me silly more then I do !
Jennie June (autobiographer), is only person like myself whom wanted to perform fellatio on men constantly.
Lind realized at a young age that she was an androgyne looking to change from male to female.
" June self-identified as a "fairie", "androgyne", "effeminate man", and a passive "invert".
" At the time, the term "transgender" had not been coined; instead words such as "androgyne", "invert", and "fairie" were used. She struggled throughout her life up to her late twenties with her extreme desire to perform fellatio, claiming to have partaken in over sixteen hundred sexual encounters in the span of a dozen years. - wikipedia
I think if not for the concern of " HIV ", many more men would of been using me for a routine sexual outlet , only real difference between myself and Earl Lind / (Jennie June) is Earl only performed fellatio, where as I took men anally whenever possible, and I only went for a 7 year period, was with many,many over and over.
I think alot of the guys whom would only let me suck their cocks, would of started boning me routinely as well.
Once I started doing my " Last Man Standing parties ", I could clearly see there were plenty of men interested in having some one like me to sexually pleasure them routinely.
As well as seen that a Female-roled male like myself could get safely " gang-banged " by a large group of men.
The parties were a great avenue for meeting new straight men, that would continue to see me outside of the parties.
Myself , I've never wished to " pass " as a female, pretend to be female, yet I want a man to help me feel as feminine as possible. All my men knew that I wanted to be treated like a female, thus I defined myself as a fully feminized,emasculated female-roled male
I never get erect while getting boned, yet like what the above image implies.
In the image below, you can see how much I love sucking cock, I only know I feel so good , pleasing a boyfriend
Me bending over to get boned
I'd often dress like this for boyfriends
Maybe it's all due to reading my mom's racy romance novels !, when at puberty age ?
Maybe because from age of 13 to 18 this is how I masturbated,
Thus this most likely aided in my psychological emasculation
and taking a man's semen up inside me is by far the greatest way to complete psychological emasculation.
" Only way I wish to perform "
For myself, once I started getting boned, having guys ejaculate in me, I found my true role, never had desire to be male sexually roled after, why I define myself as 100% female sexually roled.
I think my modeling for art classes helped me realize that I am completely sexually inverted, helped me realize I have no interest in having sex with females, that I am much more comfortable being with females as friends, non-sexual way.
For example the video below displays some very beautiful females, I could easily pose with them and not be aroused or have any sexual interest.
Yet if a male I was attracted to was in class, I might hope he might be interested in me
I was always very direct / straight forward when asking a guy if he'd be interested in me, I clearly tell them that I am a fem-male, 100% female roled, want a man whom can treat me like a lady.
For example , I read articles like the following;
" Who's the Man? How Being Versatile in Bed Is a Way of Life "
Gay sexual roles are roughly divided into three categories, specifically pertaining to anal sex: tops (those who do the fucking or, speaking clinically, provide "insertive anal intercourse"), bottoms (those who get fucked or experience "receptive anal intercourse"), and versatiles (those who do both). - gawker.com
"Every study I've read that asks men who sleep with men to self-label their role finds that the majority of respondents identify as versatile. This has also been true in my personal experience. It is, in my opinion, the way to be. It is the way to take advantage of the breadth of pleasure that you are offered as a man who sleeps with men."- gawker.com
From my perspective, there is no way I could be a Top or Versatile, I have had quite of few Tops fuck me with very good experince, and if it were not for STD's and HIV, could of been with many more. I think it is very clear in the gay community what the Roles are, yet the Versatiles , I can't relate to. For example if I had sex with a guy that identified as gay, he had to tell me he only performed in "Top" role, I want a man not a fem-male like myself, to myself sucking cock and allowing men to fuck me is as emasculating as I can get. -me
I have asked a few Tops whom I was bottoming for the question ; " What if I got a vaginoplasty, then you could fuck me that way to, does that change your perspective ? Do I need to have a penis ? - me
To myself the following Questions at registrar.ucsc.edu falls short in the sexual orientation realm implies if not straight your gay or bisexual . This is the very place that " sexual inverted " should be listed ;
The following is the wording of the gender identity and sexual orientation questions:
How do you describe yourself? (Mark one answer)
Trans Male/Trans Man
Trans Female/Trans Woman
What sex were you assigned at birth, such as on an original birth certificate? (Mark one answer)
Do you consider yourself to be: (Mark one answer)
Heterosexual or straight
Not listed above (please specify)
In addition to indicating Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation, beginning in July 2016 UCSC students will have the ability to indicate their preferred name and preferred pronouns on MyUCSC. For information regarding preferred name please visit: http://registrar.ucsc.edu/faqs/students/personalinfo.html.
A interesting article ; How Do I Know if I’m a Bottom?
How do I know if I am a bottom?
What does being a “bottom” mean to you? Well, first of all, you don’t have to “be” anything. You don’t have to make something you enjoy sexually part of your identity.
I love bottoming and want people I’m sexually interested in to know that. Calling myself a bottom has pros and cons. On one hand, I have an easier time finding tops — guys who enjoy taking the active role in sex. On the other hand, putting myself in a box is frustrating when I want to top. (In my experience, most people are versatile in the right situation, or with the right person — I am.) - just can relate- me
These labels make finding sex partners easier. That’s all they do. They don’t define an essential part of you unless you want them to. Before hookup apps like Grindr and Scruff established these words as standard sex vocabulary, queer men used discreet street coding — colored hankies, certain types of clothing — to discreetly tell each other what kind of sex they were looking for and which role (top or bottom, dominant or submissive) they wanted to take.
These words help sex happen. They are not cages you have to live your life in.
Why do I feel ashamed of bottoming? (for myself, I am in the girl role)-me
You’ve probably been told bottoming makes you “the girl,” or makes you “more gay.” We live in a misogynistic, patriarchal culture in which feminized men often get shamed, and men getting fucked is seen by many as the ultimate act of feminization.
Maybe you’re still dealing with some self-acceptance issues, and the concept of being “more gay” is uncomfortable, because you don’t want to be “more gay.” You may not even want to “be gay” at all.
First things first: there is nothing wrong with being feminine. There’s also nothing wrong with being gay. Even if you don’t believe that now, give it time, and spend as much time as you can among your people — other LGBTQ+ folks. We will help you.
What you enjoy sexually says nothing about your social importance, your power, your masculinity, your femininity, your gender identity, your attractiveness, your desirability, or your “worth.” It’s just sex. Enjoy it. Do what feels good. -
When I say " Like a Girl ", I mean sexually, to degree I wish I had a vagina/vulva ,because a penis doesn't reflect my sexually identity ,which I'd have to describe similar to Heterosexual female or psychologically I am like a "Heterosexual female".
For myself , I can't imagine telling others I am a girl, yet I can say , Third-gender, like a berdache, yet for me ;
" Female-roled male " (sexually)
Suits me best
This image represents me well, in that I love to get " double teamed "
I guess I worship cock !
The Science / Dynamics of being Female roled sexually
for Heterosexual - Total Top Men
as a pyschologically emasculated male
Roles Must be Established very Clearly
For myself, it's completely about the "Role" one is in, and only desires to be in. In my case , I can't imagine being anything other then being " 100% Female-roled ", being sexually like a female for a man
Thus the only type Man I desire to be with is a Man whom can say he is " 100% Male-Roled ". This means he doesn't have interest in my penis !, playing with it ,sucking it .
At least for me, there are no exceptions to this .
Study Shows Men Attracted to Transgender Women are NOT Gay
AScientist who specialize in sex and sexuality tested a sample of men using a device that measures the reaction of a mans privates to various visual stimuli. Men who are attracted to transgender women were not turned on by porn featuring two gay men, but they were turned on by porn featuring women only, and three kinds of “shemale” porn (“Man on Shemale”, “Shemale on Female”, and “Shemale on Shemale”). So a man who likes transgender women (people born essentially biologically male who are sociologically more like women) does not have to be “at least” bisexual, or really gay but hiding it, or any such thing. What studies like this hi-lite is the sparse vocabulary most of us have in the USA. Words for people who are into anything other than straight, heteronormative relationships but are not gay exist. Most people don’t use them. The reason for this is a deep need in US culture to have everything follow a nice neat binary classification.
For all transgender people on of the big life problems is finding a mate. This is not easy for anyone as the proliferation of dating services, matchmakers, etc shows. However, for transgender people this is extra challenging since we bring up issues of sexual identity for whoever finds us attractive. Straight men and women fear that liking a transwoman or transman makes them gay or lesbian. Lesbians and gay men fear that liking a transwoman or transman might mean they are straight… and every possible combination. Very often transgender women and transgender men (people born basically biologically female who are sociologically more like men) face this stigma in their personal lives.