Unable to have an intimate and love relationship with Human

This is my most complex dilemma, because I am a social person, have had/have some good secure friendships, yet unable to have close/loving/intimate relationships with men or women.

My few attempts at trying to have an intimate and love partnership with a Female soon lead me wanting to have her find a Man who she could have sex with regularly.

When my Female did find a Man and had sex with him, for me it was important she really to want to have sex with the Man more then me.

For example, In one relationship I had with a Female, soon after she started having sex with a Man, the Man told her he didn't want her to have sex with me anymore, in turn she told me she couldn't have sex with me any longer, and she was sorry but she was unable to have a relationship with me any longer.

I very much understood, and was glad because I felt I was being unfaithful to Edward, this I felt each time I tried dating a female, plus I wasn't sexually attracted to any female even though I tried to be.

Because I was a female-roled zoosexual by the time I was 13 years old, and by the time 

Edward my jack donkey lover had been breeding for a very short period of time, I simply had no interest in having a sexual relationship with any human being.

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Unable to have a lasting relationship with Gay males, when I did have sex with Gay Men they were Dominate Top men or heterosexual Men whom would use me sexually primarily too, perform fellatio on them.

Of the hundreds of Men, I had sex with, none ever wanted me for more then just sex, which I understood, especially the heterosexual Men, when a Dom. Top used me he'd have me generally always have me perform fellatio on him as well as penetrate me anally, yet again all the Dom Top men I'd see had other 100% submissive bottom sluts like myself who he was routinely seeing.

There were many times that I wished I was heterosexual, so I could live normal, have a wife etc. but that is impossible for me because I only desire to be in the female-role for males.

So for me, learning what I did after Edward's death, then becoming sexually involved with men it was clear to me that I made the right choice by remaining Edward's female receptive partner for all those years.

Edward was the best Partner I could ever of had !

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